The Will
by Alvarin
Summary: A new student with a dark past arrives at Hogwarts. In his attempts to find the truth Harry and his friends will get closer to Voldemort than they ever intended. However, on their side they have a new friend, or is he an enemy?
1. A New Student

**Part 1 The Will to Live**

_(It starts at the beginning of Harry's sixth year. Nothing in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince has happened. No horcruxes, no Slughorn and no dead Dumbledore._

_I've posted most of this story in Swedish already, and I thought it was time for me to finally start translating it. Hope you like it!)_

**Chapter 1 – A New Student**

You could hear a pin drop in the great hall. The students were staring at Dumbledore as if he had lost his mind. When the hinges of the door creaked everyone turned to watch as Snape and McGonagall stepped inside, both with stern faces. After them followed a young man who looked like he was about 20 years old, though Dumbledore had informed them in his speech earlier that he was in fact joining the sixth years, which meant that he couldn't be older than 17. He had black, messy hair that shone in the light from the floating candles. His uniform had not yet gotten its house colours. In silence he walked across the room and stood next to Dumbledore. McGonagall and Snape sat behind the table for the teachers on their regular seats.

"Yes, as I said before. This is out new student.." Dumbledore said with a smile, ".. Nathaniel Knightblade."

"_Umm.. Hermione?" _Harry whispered as quietly as he could. She turned around and looked at him with a quizzical face. _"Why is everyone acting so weird?" _Hermione's eyes widened in surprise. She had probably been expecting Harry to know who Nathaniel was.

"_I'll tell you later," _she said soundlessly.

Dumbledore had now brought forth the sorting hat and was just about to put it on Nathaniels head when he was interrupted by Professor Sinistra who suddenly got up from her chair.

"Albus, I'm sorry, but this is too much," she said quickly before leaving the hall. Everyone stared at her back, until the doors slammed shut behind her.

The hat gave a big, wide yawn. "I've never seen such an odd sorting ceremony. Well, well, I guess it's time to get started." Dumbledore cleared his throat to regain the attention of his students, and then put the hat down on Nathaniels head.

"Hmm.. Usually I would, without a doubt in my mind, put you in Slytherin, but I don't think that you can reach your full potential there. You carry a lot of darkness inside of you. Maybe Gryffindor can lighten your heart? Brave Gryffindor students are used to fighting the dark." For a while the hat went silent, but then he exclaimed: "GRYFFINDOR!" If Nathaniel had any opinion about his new house he certainly didn't show it, his face was completely neutral.

"_This can't be happening," _Ron whispered. The panic in his voice was poorly concealed. Harry became more anxious for every second that passed. He deeply regretted that he hadn't read _The Daily Prophet _more thoroughly during the summer vacation.

Usually the Gryffindor students would've cheered and whistled to welcome their newest addition, but no one uploaded, in fact they didn't even look happy. This bewildered Harry, since his comrades others as friendly as they could. He had never seen Gryffindor students shun someone like they were doing now.

"Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley will stay. The rest of you may return to your common rooms." As soon as Dumbledore had finished his sentence everyone scrambled to their feet and hurried to get out of the great hall. Even the teachers seemed to be in a hurry to get out of there. Harry and his two friends, Nathaniel and Dumbledore were the only ones who stayed.

"Harry, you don't have to stay if you don't want too," the headmaster said with a smile, well aware that Harry never left his friends' sides voluntary.

"I'd rather stay." Dumbledore nodded and turned towards Ron and Hermione.

"Since you are prefects I'd like you to take care of Nathaniel. Show him around and teach him the rules."

Ron's face took a sickly pale shade that Harry had only seen a couple of times before. For example the time when he noticed that Fluffy had woken up. "What?" he said with a squeaky voice. He looked cautiously at Nathaniel.

Hermione shoved a sharp elbow in between his ribs. "Of course, it's after all, our duty as prefects." She tried to smile at Nathaniel, but it quickly disappeared when she discovered that he wasn't looking at her. In fact he was standing with his eyes closed.

"Well then. I suggest you return to your common room, it's starting to get late, and I think I heard Severus saying something about a test tomorrow."

Harry groaned. He had completely forgot about the test. Ron had probably forgot about it too, but he was so focused on Nathaniel that he didn't hear what the headmaster just said.

"Goodnight" said Dumbledore and left the great hall before any one of them had time to answer.

Hermione was the one who first spoke. "He's right, we should return to our common room. I have to check the potions book one last time before going to bed. You should do the same."

Harry nodded and started to walk towards the common room. The others followed him. Harry tried to talk to Nathaniel a couple of times, but he didn't answer, he didn't even open his eyes to see were he was walking. Eventually Hermione were the only one who occasionally broke the oppressing silence by pointing out classrooms and other important places that they passed. She told Nathaniel the password and then how he should do if the fat lady weren't in his painting.

When they arrived in the common room, Nathaniel went straight up to the boys' dormitory. Harry hadn't even had to point it out.

"Could someone please tell me who he is?" begged Harry as soon as he thought Nathaniel was out of range.

"Harry, do you honestly mean that you haven't read a newspaper in the whole summer?" said Hermione with a raised eyebrow.

"Me and Ron were busy," he said and smiled, remembering all the things they had done during the vacation. It was the best summer he had ever had.

Hermione sighed despondently. "_Accio The Daily Prophet,_" she said while waving the wand. Almost immediately a newspaper came soaring through the air. She held it infront of Harry so that he could see the front page. _Serial killer freed, students in danger._ Under the headlines there was a picture of someone, looking _a lot_ like Nathaniel, who stood bent over a corps. On the sky above him the dark mark was clearly visible.

"I can't believe that Dumbledore will let him attend Hogwarts. He's a death eater!" Lavender cried.

"I don't want to sleep in the same room as him.." Neville mumbled.

"How could he even be sorted into Gryffindor? He's the personification of a Slytherin student."

"Quit it," said Harry suddenly. He knew how it felt to be shunned and he couldn't watch them doing that to Nathaniel. "Sure, he's a bit weird, but he can't be a serial killer. He was found not guilty, right?" Harry looked everyone of them in the eye. "You heard what the sorting hat said. He was placed in Gryffindor for a reason. It's our duty to help him in any way we can."

"Harry's right!" Hermione agreed. "Dumbledore knows what his doing, and he would never put his students in harms way." The others seemed to disagree, but at least hey stopped talking trash about Nathaniel. Their concentration was instead redirected towards Fred and George, who were giving away free samples of their latest edition to their skiving snackboxes.

"Come on, let's go and show him which bed is his," said Hermione after a while. When noticing Ron's face she added: "It's actually a part of being prefect."

"Okay, but he's gonna sleep as far from me as possible."

"Ron, honestly!"

"You're not the one who'll be forced to sleep in the same room as him!" Hermione and Ron continued arguing while ascending the stairs that led to the dormitories.

Harry had to go in first, since Ron blankly refused and Hermione for once hesitated to enter the boys' dormitory. Inside they spotted Nathaniel sitting in the window frame with his eyes still shut. He didn't react when they stepped inside and looked as if he was sleeping. Over the years Harry had himself fallen asleep in that exact spot several times, alarmingly often with his potions book in his hand.

Hermione hesitated at first, but then she walked up to him and put her hand on his shoulder.

"Yes?" he asked without looking at her. His voice made Harry shudder with it's lack of emotion and coldness. A bit like the voice of Lucius Malfoy, but younger and without drawling so much.

Hermione quickly pulled back her hand and smiled nervously, which was unnecessary considering that Nathaniel never opened his eyes.

"We thought we should show you were to sleep."

Nathaniel didn't answer, but pointed at his trunk that had been placed at the food of an unoccupied bed. Hermione turned towards Harry in search of some kind of confirmation, and he nodded.

"Yes, that bed isn't occupied. Good that you're making yourself feel at home." Hermione was nervous, Harry could hear it in her voice.

".. I guess everyone is afraid of me?" said Nathaniel hesitantly, as if he was afraid of their answer.

"Not really," Harry lied. "Gryffindor students can't be scared that easily. Go down and talk to them and you'll see." He tried to sound as reassuringly as he possibly could.

Nathaniel shook his head, but said nothing more. After throuwing nervous glances at each other for what felt like a minute, or two, the three friend desided to leave him alone. The rest of the night they spent in the common room together with Seamus and Neville, practising for tomorrows test.

When the clock struck two all the guys in Gryffindor were still down in the common room. Several of them were sitting with their eyes half shut and didn't want anything but to go to bed, but their courage didn't suffice. Harry and Ron were the first ones to go to bed, closely followed by Fred and George. However, when they entered, the room was empty. Nathaniel's bed looked untouched and his trunk were standing in the exact same spot as before.

"How the hell did he get out without anyone noticing him?" Ron asked indignantly.

Harry shook his head and pointed at the ajar window. "He must've flown out of here."

"He brought a broom?" Ron looked around the room and uttered a dismayed shriek.

Harry sighed. "What is it now?" When he turned he saw what it was Ron had meant. His firebolt was gone.

_(I really hope that you as a reader find my English somewhat acceptable. I noticed a few mistakes that I can't do anything about without mucking up the story later. For an instance, Fred and George should already have left Hogwarts, even if they hadn't pulled of that stunt with the fireworks. Please review! - Alvarin)_


	2. The Next Move

**Chapter 2 – The Next Move**

"What?" Hermione cried. Several of the other students turned to see what was going on.

"I told you we couldn't trust him," Ron muttered.

"I can't believe he _flew_ out of the dormitory. Where do you think he's headed?"

"Voldemort, where else? He is a death eater, you know."

"Oh, come on! I bet he just wanted to get some fresh air. And he left a note, so it's not like he stole it.

"Noooo, he just took it without asking. That's something _completely _different," said Ron as ironically as he could.

"Harry's right," said Hermione. "Nathaniel will probably return later today."

"_Harry's right!_" Ron mimicked in a whiny tone. "Can you say something else for once?"

Hermione shot him a fierce look, but did not say anything back. In stead she turned towards Harry and asked him to question her one last time before the test. When he was about to ask her the first question they saw Snape coming down the hallway. His wide robes flowed around him like an ominous black aura.

"Great," Harry said with a sigh. "Time for one hour of pure agony."

"I heard that, Potter! I'm going to deduct two points from Gryffindor."

"How could he possibly hear that? He was at the other end of the corridor!" Ron hissed.

"Another two points, Weasley!"

"Be quiet, both of you!" said Hermione with a stern, reprimanding voice when Ron opened his mouth to say something more.

Snape unlocked the door to the potions classroom and stepped inside, followed by the students from Gryffindor and Slytherin who had been waiting in the corridor. Hermione was the first one to take her place in her normal seat, pick up her self-inking quill and straighten her back, as she always did before writing a test. Harry and Ron had barely take their seats before the test landed with a heavy thump on their desks. I was just like the nightmare Harry had had the night before. A thick brick with papers filled with questions he had to answer and amounts he had to calculate. Hermione started at once and wrote so quickly that he could just barely make out the contours of the feather. He held his breath and read the first question. He didn't understand. It wasn't that he couldn't answers, he just didn't understand what the question was asking for.

Half an hour in Harry was finally getting started. When looking around he noticed that most of the class were on the same page as him, except for Hermione who had already made it through half the test. Snape was sitting behind the teacher's desks, reading a book covered with something green that looked as if it had dried in. Probably the residues of a poor students potion. The sound of a door being thrown open interrupted his thoughts. With quick steps Nathaniel entered the classroom. Before sitting down he tossed the firebolt at Harry.

"Thanks for the loan," he said with a loud voice that sounded a lot warmer than it did the day before.

The Slytherin students looked hopefully towards Snape, but he didn't even bother to look up from his book. With a small wave of his hand he sent the test to Nathaniel, who started at once. Oddly enough, he was wearing sunglasses. It was the first time he had ever seen a wizard with sunglasses.

...

"I knew it!" said Ron after they had finally left the classroom.

"Did the test go well?" asked Hermione without trying to hide her astonishment.

Ron sighed. "What do you think? I was talking about Nathaniel, obviously. Even the teachers are scared of him. Snape just proved it!"

"Maybe he's just cutting Nathaniel some slack, since it's his first day," Hermione suggested while opening the door to the great hall. It was time for lunch.

"Cutting him some slack? _Snape?_" said Harry and Ron simultaneously. Hermione couldn't help but too laugh at them. For a moment they had sounded just like Fred and George.

Harry nodded towards Nathaniel who were already sitting at one of the tables. "Let's sit next to him. I want to know what he was up to last night."

"Great," Ron grumbled.

They walked up to Nathaniel and sat next to him.

"How did the test go?" said Hermione. It was obvious that she was trying to sound as friendly as she possibly could. "You finished before everyone else." That last part wad pronounced with a touch of jealousy.

Nathaniel showed her a warm smile. "Quite well. This test was nothing compared to the ones we had at my last school."

Ron literally dropped his jaw. "What kind of school did you attend?"

"Blackfield," Nathaniel answered, still with the same smile. For a brief moment Harry suspected that this guy was actually Nathaniels good twin, but then he reproached himself. Anyone would be nervous on their first day in a new school, it was only natural.

"I've never heard about Blackfield. Where is it?" Hermione asked with that kind of surprised and slightly annoyed tone that she got when there was something she didn't know.

"Very few know where it is, and I can't tell you since it's a secret." He laughed softly. "Pretty weird, right?"

"Why is it a secret?" Hermione asked with a bewildered face.

"So that the ministry won't be able to shut it down. The principal has, after all, been given a very important task." Harry noticed how Nathaniel's face changed from gentle to cruel, and shuddered.

"What task?" Hermione had also noticed the change.

Nathaniel bent forward and whispered something in her ear before he got up and left the hall. He looked back at them an waved, still with the same cruel smile, before the doors shut behind him.

Hermione's face was white and her eyes wide with fright. Harry put his hand on her shoulder in an attempt to calm her down.

"You look like you've seen a ghost. What the hell did tell you?" Ron said, sensitive as always.

Hermione turned towards Ron. "You were right," she said with a quiet voice.

"About what?" Ron still hadn't stopped pushing food into his face, and spoke with his mouth full of grilled chicken and rice.

"Blackfield is a school that trains death eaters.." she whispered.

Ron suddenly choked and started to cough violently. "What!" Several of the students that were sitting nearby turned to look at them, alarmed by Ron's sudden outburst.

"He must've gotten a lot stronger if he dares to do something like that. It's pretty obvious that he's going to make an attempt of taking over soon," Harry said quietly, so that the others around them couldn't hear. Ever since their return from the ministry of magic, at the end of their fifth year, Harry had been waiting for Voldemorts next move, and now he knew what it was.. Or at least parts of it. Voldemort had sent a death eater to Hogwarts. "Did he say something else?" Harry asked with a serious voice. He had grabbed Hermione by the shoulders and turned her towards him.

Hermione hesitated. "He.. He told me to watch out. To _really _watch out." She blinked, and Harry realized that she was about to start crying, so he hugged her.

"We need to tell Dumbledore about this," Ron exclaimed suddenly. "He probably hasn't realized what a huge mistake he had made.."

Harry nodded. "You're right, for the second time today."

"Let us go at once," Hermione murmured into Harry's shoulder.

Ron looked disappointed. "Can I finish my meal first?"

...

"Hello?" Hermione called out. Fawkes, who were sitting at the top of a bookshelf, watched them closely as they entered Dumbledore's office. McGonagall had let them in, but she hadn't had time to stay.

"Just a moment." Dumbledore's voice came from the top of the stairs in the back of the room. Seconds later he was sitting in his chair behind his desk. "I guess you're not here just to say hello, even if that would be nice for a change," he said and blinked at them. "What's on your mind?"

"We're wondering why Nathaniel is allowed to attend Hogwarts," said Harry immediately.

Dumbledore smiled. "He's here of the same reason as you are. To learn, of course."

Harry couldn't help but to feel slightly annoyed. The head master never gave a straight answer. "He's dangerous, and he made that very clear today."

Hermione stepped forward. "He threatened me."

Dumbledore raised a surprised eyebrow. "Are you sure it wasn't a warning?"

"Yes, I'm sure! He claimed to have attended a school for death eaters." Hermione sounded as annoyed as Harry felt.

With a deep sigh the head master rose from the chair and walked over to the window. "He has a dark past, to say the least, and it will probably take a while for him to adjust. I'd advice you to not give up on him quite yet."

"But he's dangerous to the students!" cried Ron.

Dumbledore turned towards Ron and smiled. "I would never put my students' safety at risk. He has been stripped of his wand and a spell tells me if he tries to use magic. Any more questions?" He looked at Harry.

"Yes. Has he ever killed someone?" he asked with a serious face.

"That's not something that I can answer. You'll have to ask him yourself."

"Why do you take such responsibility for him?" Hermione asked. _Right on target, as usual,_ Harry thought. Dumbledore, how ever, seemed unaffected.

"Because I have great sympathy of him and his background. You should too, Harry." Dumbledore looked out of the window again. After a moments silence he said: "If I'm not mistaken you three should be in your transfiguration class right now. You better hurry, you know how particular Minerva is about punctuality." He smiled towards them one last time before they left.

"Well wasn't very helpful now, was it?" said Ron angrily. Harry sighed. Ron was right, once again. Dumbledore was seldom of any greater use in the kind of situations that hey usually got themselves involved in.

"Well I'm certainly not going to speak to Nathaniel again," said Hermione decidedly. "How about you, Harry?"

Harry shrugged. "I guess I should at least try.. But first of all I want to find out if he is a death eater or not."

"And how will you do that?" Ron muttered. "_Nathaniel, would you mind taking of your shirt?_" Ron fluttered his eyelashes in a horrible attempt too look seductive.

"You're saying that there's something wrong with that plan?" Both Harry and Ron laughed, despite the fact that they weren't particularly amused. A growing feeling of alarm had taken shape in Harry's stomach as a cold rock with jagged edges. He knew Voldemort would act soon, but he didn't know when or how. If Nathaniel was part of his plan he had to find out about it. He had to know in what way Voldemort was planning on using him, or he wouldn't be able to figure out his next move.


	3. Failure

**Chapter 3 – Failure**

Ron was laying on the floor, laughing so hard that he couldn't stand.

"Ron, quit it. Seriously!" Harry hissed furiously. He had hoped that Ron would feel sorry for him, but Ron just laughed at all his misery. "Ron!"

"Haha! Hrm, yes. Wai.. Hahaha!" It took several minutes before Ron had gotten it together and could talk. Luckily there was no one else using the room of requirement, so no one could see them.

"Are you done?" Harry asked when Ron had finally managed to get up from the floor.

"I can't believe you actually did it! I thought I was the stupidest of the three of us, but apparently I was wrong!" His attempt to be funny released another outburst of laughter.

"Honestly Ron, it couldn't have been _than_ funny," said Hermione and tried to sound stern, though she was obviously very curious. "What did you tell him?"

She had just arrived, so Harry hadn't told her about it yet. He wasn't really sure he wanted to, but he started spilling it any way. "Well, it was like this.."

...

Harry hurried to catch up to Nathaniel. At the end of the lesson McGonagall had asked him to stay behind. Apparently he had forgotten to turn in an essay. When he finally got out of there Nathaniel had been at the far end of the corridor, about to round a corner.

Nathaniel twitched when Harry put his hand on his shoulder. "What do you want?" he said with a tired sigh. He was still wearing his sunglasses, so Harry couldn't quite make out his expression.

"I need to talk to you," he said briefly. Nathaniel didn't answer, so Harry continued. "In private. Come with me." He grabbed Nathaniel's sleeve and more or less dragged him with him through several corridors, outside, past the herbology greenhouses and towards the quidditch field. Eventually Nathaniel stopped and pulled his arm back.

"What do you want?" he said once again, but this time he was annoyed.

"I need to ask you something, and I want you to answer truthfully." Nathaniel didn't answer, but since he didn't leave either, Harry assumed he had his approval. "Are you a death eater?"

Nathaniel flinched as is Harry had hit him. "That's none of your business," he said with a cold voice and began to walk away. Harry immediately grabbed hold of his sleeve again to stop him.

"I want you to answer. If you're here to hurt or kill me then just do it. Don't get everyone else involved." To his great surprise Nathaniel began to laugh. Loudly.

"I can't believe it! Harry Potter, the great hero, sacrifices himself for the greater good. The description of you in _The Daily Prophet _was spot on!" His laugh suddenly stopped and he looked at Harry with hatred in his eyes. "An idiot who doesn't understand that he's nothing more but a lucky kid, I believe they said." Once again he jerked his arm back and started walking away. "I'm not going to tell you anything, so leave me alone!"

Harry looked at Nathaniel's back. Despite the snub he wasn't ready to give up quite yet. A new plan was starting to form in his head, but he wasn't sure he should go with it. It was a bit.. Insane.

As soon as Nathaniel was out of sight, Harry entered the castle and ran up to the Gryffindor tower. Under his bed he found the dungbomb that Fred had given him after winning a bet. Before leaving the dormitory he put on his invincibility cloak, then he went down to the dungeon where he knew Nathaniel should be attending potions.

While waiting for Nathaniel's lesson to end, he felt lonely. Since Hermione and Ron were almost always by his side he had had forgotten how boring it could be to wait for someone alone. After half an hour Nathaniel finally came out, alone. As usual he had already known the things Snape were planning on teaching them, so he left early. When Nathaniel stood facing another direction Harry tossed the dungbomb. Bullseye. Nathaniel's entire back was covered by the malodorous mess. He spun around in an attempt to find the perpetrator. For a brief moment his eyes stopped at the exact spot where Nathaniel was standing, but then he turned and hurried up the stairs and towards the prefects' bathroom, just like Harry had planned. Hermione had told Nathaniel about the bathroom during his first day.

Harry had hidden himself in one of the booths and were standing on his toes to see over the edge of the door. Nathaniel was pulling his shirt of. When Snape barged in he stopped, with his shirt still half on, and turned to look who had come.

"Don't you have a class to teach?" Nathaniel asked. His voice was as cold as ever.

"Someone threw a dungbomb outside the classroom. The stench became unbearable." Snape looked around with a raised eyebrow. "What happened to your clothes?"

"That dungbomb was thrown at _me_," Nathaniel said with a hard-set face.

"Really?" Snape looked strangely pleased. "Did you see who did it?"

Nathaniel shook his head and pulled his right arm out of the sleeve. Harry stretched even further and lost his balance. Everything would've been fine if Snape hadn't opened the door at the exact moment that Harry tried to grab it.

Without really understanding how it had happened, Harry found himself laying on the tile floor, his head resting upon Snape's foot. His invincibility cloak was suddenly pulled of.

"Mr Potter," said Snape with a voice that made it sound like he was speaking about a dead rat.

"I can expl.."

"You've got dungbomb residues on your hands," Snape continued. "And weren't you supposed to attend my class?" Before Harry had time to say anything in his defence, Snape had taken a steady hold of Harry's left ear and pulled him up. "Detention for two weeks, Potter. You'll be scrubbing cauldrons until your hands bleed," he said before dragging Harry to the dungeons. He had to spend the rest of the day cleaning up the mess that he had caused.

When it was finally time for lunch, and he could reunite with Ron, he had noticed that he other students were looking funnily at him. Not that it was unusual for the Slytherin students to glare at him, but the other houses didn't usually pay such attention to him.

After a while Fred and George had approached them, their faces red and their eyes filled with tears. The fact that they were giggling like two little girls confirmed that they had heard what Harry had done that morning.

"Hey Harry, I didn't now you swung that way. You could've told us," said George accusingly.

Fred put his hand on his forehead in an attempt to look shocked. "Yeah, just imagine, George. Just imagine all those times he could've peeped at us in the dressing room after the quidditch practises. Horrible!" The twins started laughing again.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Harry asked bewilderedly.

"He's trying to play innocent!" said Fred and winked at George.

"Don't think we haven't heard of your attempt of seducing Nathaniel," said George, barely able to end his sentence before falling into another fit of laughter..

...

Hermione could no longer keep it together. She joined Ron by folding in loud laughter.

"So the whole school I'm either in love with Nathaniel, or simply an idiot," Harry muttered.

"Why couldn't you have waited until our prefect meeting was over? We could've stopped you," said Hermione when she had gathered herself.

"Because I thought it was a good idea.." Harry admitted reluctantly.

"Harry, it's something that we would've done during our first year."

Ron suddenly looked offended. "Hey! We had a bunch of great ideas during our first years."

"Like fighting a troll, or sneaking into the Slytherin common room by drinking polyjuice potion?" said Hermione and smiled meaningfully .

"Well, it worked!"

Hermione sighed. "Yes, somehow it did. But shouldn't we come up with a new plan?"

Ron and Harry nodded approvingly. Harry was glad to finally be of the hook.

Hermione conjured up three pillows, so that they could sit on the floor. The room of requirement looked like it had when DA had had their meetings, big and empty. It felt a tiny bit desolate, but Harry liked it. He and the others in DA had had a great time in there.

"So? What do you think?" said Hermione after buffing Harry with her elbow.

"What?" Harry had lost focus.

Hermione sighed despondently. "Honestly, Harry!"

"What did I miss?"

"During our next lesson in defence against the dark arts we're supposed to work in pairs, since we're doing a group work. You're going to work with Ron."

"How's that different from usual?" said Harry curiously.

Ron started laughing again, but softer this time. "Did someone hit you with confundo this morning?"

Harry pouted and waited for Hermione to continue.

".. And I'll be working with Nathaniel," she finally said. "It's a pretty big assignment, so we'll be spending several hours together. Sooner or later he has to say something useful, right?"

Harry smiled. "Brilliant as always, Hermione."

"It was my idea," Ron grumbled.

_(I tried way too hard to be funny in this chapter, sorry for that. I promise I won't do it again. Next chapter is going to be much better, I swear. I'm going to introduce my favourite character, who plays a pretty big role in part two and three. Thanks for reading and please review! -Alvarin)_


	4. Grey

**Chapter 4 – Grey**

Professor O'Sullivan gave a great yawn. According to himself he had been up late correcting tests, but most of the students had figured out (mostly because of his smell) that he'd been to Hogsmeade and had one to many glasses of firewhiskey. O'Sullivan was, with his 26 years, one of the youngest to ever teach at Hogwarts. He was tall and handsome with dark blond hair that this day looked even more messy than usual. Most girls had experienced love at first sight when they saw him, but that had passed as soon as he opened his mouth. He swore like a sailor and was extremely rude, sometimes he could almost be mean. Harry liked him despite of that since he, as a teacher, was a lot better than their previous DADA teachers, with the exception of Lupin, of course.

"Well.." he looked around. "Where's the Slytherins?"

Hermiones hand shot up, almost too quick for the eye to register. Reflex, Harry guessed. "They are visiting the ministry of magic, we were there last week."

O'Sullivan smiled. "Oh, so that's why you look so happy today. Glad to be rid of them, eh?" Several of the students laughed. "I'm not going to bother with dividing you into groups, so do it yourselves. Two in each group. The poor bastard that doesn't find a partner has to work with a Slytherin."

If O'Sullivan's intention had been to make them hurry, he succeeded. Everyone rushed to get a partner, and when everyone had taken their seats again, O'Sullivan said: "Those who doesn't have a partner, raise a hand!"

Hermione raised her hand at once, and after a while Nathaniel raised a lazy, unwilling hand.

"That's all?" He looked around. "Fuck. I wanted to see a fight between the houses.. Well, I guess you'll have to work together, whether you like it or not!"

Hermione walked over to Nathaniel and sat down beside him. She looked slightly nervous, so Harry patted her on the back when she passed him.

"You know what to do, right?" The classroom became completely silent. No one said anything. "What the hell. I gave each of you a note about this during our last lesson, right?" He scratched his head in a way that made him look slightly comical.

"Umm.. Professor?" said Hermione hesitantly.

"Just spit it out, Granger."

"You told us that you were going to give us one, but you never did."

O'Sullivan sighed despondently. "None of you idiots could remind me?" he muttered while rummaging through his desk. "_Accio assignment papers!_" Immediately the door to his office flew open and a bunch of papers came flying and landed in his hand. The brief moment that the door had been open, it had revealed an unbelievable mess with papers and books scattered everywhere. By waving his wand he made sure that the papers landed on their desks. "Read it and do as it says!" he ordered before walking into his office and closing the door behind him. Two seconds passed before he opened the door again. "Knock if you need something," he said with a smile.

As soon as the door had closed again the students started to read the papers they had been given. It was a relatively easy task, which demanded them to choose a offensive or defensive spell, get some information about it and then write a report about it.

"Well, what spell do you want to pick?" Hermione asked with a forced smile.

Nathaniel shrugged. "You pick," he said shortly.

"Maybe we should head down to the library and look through a spellbook?" She did all she could to seem brisk, but Nathaniel's cold attitude made it very difficult.

"Just pick one." He sounded annoyed.

"Which is your favourite?"

"Well, crucio is always fun," he said with a cruel smile.

Hermione shivered. "Is that really your favourite spell?"

Nathaniel laughed. "As long as I'm the one using it."

"It sounds like you've used it a lot?" Her tone made the statement a question.

Nathaniel turned towards Hermione and showed her a quick smile which was filled with malice. "Never, obviously. It is, after all, forbidden." It was impossible to miss the heavy sarcasm in his voice.

She had never met such a creepy guy before, but she still went on. "Obviously," she muttered, too quiet for him to hear. "Okay, we can work with crucio. Should we go to the library and find some info?"

"I already know everything we need," he said while adjusting his sunglasses.

"Do you ever take those of?"

"No," he replied shortly and took out a quill, ink and a roll of parchment.

"Why?" She tried to sound indifferent.

"Because my eyes doesn't look nice." He rolled out the parchment and put his pen on it.

"Why?" she asked, and watched with fascination as he swept his hand over the pen and it started writing by itself. "What is it writing?"

"It's writing down everything I know about the spell," he said. He obviously had no intention of telling her what was up with his eyes.

"When did you learn to use spells without a wand?" she asked interestedly. She still had problems with casting even the simplest of spells without her wand, despite all her training.

"Can't use a wand any more," he mumbled.

Hermione looked bewildered. "What? Everyone's able to use a wand."

He sighed. With a sudden move he snatched Neville's wand. "Look." Neville watched with despair as Nathaniel used his wand. "_Lumos_." Hermione gasped. The whole classroom was lit with a blinding light that came from Neville's wand. After just a few seconds she heard a sharp snap and the light became even more intense, just to die out seconds later. In Nathaniel's hand lay wood chips held together with a thin strand of unicorn hair.

Neville squeaked. "My wand!"

Someone screamed. "I'm blind!" Several others joined in, and soon the whole classroom was filled with a chorus of wailing.

Hermione grabbed Nathaniel's arm. "How did you do that?"

Nathaniel shrugged. "A wand is supposed to canalise your magic. That works perfectly as long as your magic is so weak that something has to draw it forth and concentrate it. My magic is more like a wild stream, and using a wand is like making a crack in the dam. The water rushes through and destroys the dam in the process."

The door leading to O'Sullivan's office flew open with a bang. "What the hell are you doing?" he let his eyes sweep over his, to say the least, upset students and spotted Neville's broken wand in Nathaniel's hand. He strode through the room, his face red with anger, and stopped in front of Nathaniel. "I knew you would cause problems. What the hell did you do?"

"Just lumos," he answered nonchalantly.

"Like hell you did." He pointed at the poor students who had looked directly into the light, and now where completely or almost blind. "What the hell did you do to them?" Harry shivered. He had never seen O'Sullivan that angry before.

"He's not lying, Professor," said Hermione. "It was just lumos. A very powerful lumos."

O'Sullivan gave her a scrutinizing glare. "Fine," he growled before turning around to take care of his blinded students.

...

Nathaniel were sitting in Dumbledore's office. O'Sullivan had more or less dragged him there, and he was still standing with a firm grip of Nathaniel's shoulder.

"You can let go now. Fleeing is beneath my dignity," said Nathaniel with a snarl, looking and sounding more like a Slytherin than ever.

"But hurting my students is not?" said O'Sullivan with a sharp tone. "Don't fucking believe that I'm afraid of you just because you killed a bunch of muggles."

Nathaniel sighed. "I was acting under the influence of the imperius curse, and was therefore freed of all charges. Didn't Dumbledore talk to you teachers about that before I came here?" he muttered angrily.

"Like I would believe that shit!"

"I believe it," said Dumbledore calmly. O'Sullivan started and turned towards the head master.

"Albus, I didn't hear you coming!"

Dumbledore smiled warmly. "No, you were busy yelling at our newest student." O'Sullivan looked down at his feet. Like many others he felt little in front of Dumbledore. "I've been down in the hospital wing, and it seems like everyone is going to be fine. Their eyes were a bit sore, but it's nothing that Poppy can't cure."

"Which spell did he use?" asked O'Sullivan and shot an angry glare at Nathaniel.

"Lumos, right?" said Dumbledore while looking at Nathaniel, who nodded. "Well, there you have it. If you don't have any more questions you can leave," said Dumbledore with a friendly voice.

O'Sullivan shook his head like he couldn't believe what he had just heard, but left any way. His ego had received a powerful blow.

"How are you doing? Have you made any friends yet?" said Dumbledore and sat down at his desk.

"You know I'm not here to make friends," said Nathaniel with a cold voice. He hated the fact that Dumbledore expected him to behave like everyone else.

"Friendship is one of the strongest powers on earth. Maybe it can set you free," he said with a warm smile.

"I'll never be free. Not as long as I'm alive," said Nathaniel, sounding utterly annoyed, and stood up. "Can I go now?"

Dumbledore nodded. "Please refrain from using the other students' wands in the future. Neville had to borrow one from the lost and found box, but I suggest that you compensate him for the one you destroyed."

"I will," said Nathaniel and left. He couldn't stand another minute in the head master's presence. Dumbledores' piercing eyes made his skin crawl.

Hermione was waiting outside. "Hey. How did it go?" she said in a friendly tone.

He shrugged. "Dumbledore wasn't even mad."

"No, he seldom is," said Hermione with a smile. "Will you come with me to the common room?"

Nathaniel nodded. "When do we have to turn in the report?"

"The day after tomorrow," said Hermione, sounding awfully happy. Homework was her favourite pastime.

"Did you have time to finish it?" he asked despite already knowing the answer.

"Your enchanted pen did all the work for me," she mumbled. She felt a bit guilty for letting him do all the work.

For a while they just walked next to each other without talking. Hermione couldn't think of anything to say, and Nathaniel wasn't even trying.

"How come you came to Hogwarts?" she finally said.

Nathaniel didn't answer immediately. "I don't know."

"Can I ask you something personal?"

He looked at her with a quizzical face. "You're going to ask why I was put in Azkaban, and why I was released, right?"

"Yeah, something like that," she admitted.

Nathaniel sighed. "Didn't the newspapers cover most of it?"

He was right. The newspapers had revelled in every detail. "You killed several muggles, but were found not guilty since Dumbledore proved that you had been controlled by someone else."

He nodded.

"Doesn't it feel horrible?" Hermione asked carefully.

"I've done worse things," he said quietly. "If I were you, I'd stay as far away from me as I could."

"Why are you trying to scare me away?"

He felt exposed. "Because I'm not good, which you should have realised by now."

"You sound like Harry. He always tries to divide everything into good and evil," she grumbled. "I don't think you're evil."

"But you wouldn't call me good?"

"No, you're.." she thought about it for a while before answering. "Grey."

"Grey?" he asked amusedly.

"Yeah.. You know, in between." She smiled at him, pleased that she had been able to tear down his walls.

"That's probably the nicest thing anyone has ever told me." At first she thought that he had been ironic, but when she looked up on his face she discovered that he looked completely serious.

"You're kidding, right?" she asked hesitantly.

He shrugged. "What do you think?"

Before she had time to answer, they arrived at the portrait of the fat lady. Nathaniel said the password and stepped inside. As soon as the others saw him, they turned silent. The students that had been temporarily blinded earlier glared at him with eyes equally filled with hatred and fear. Even Neville, who normally was as meek as a lamb, looked angry. Nathaniel didn't even look at them, but headed for the dormitories. When he passed Neville he tossed him a black leather pouch. Neville opened it with wide eyes and froze when he saw the content.

Fred, who was the first one too lose his patience, snatched the pouch from Neville to find out what was so interesting. His jaw dropped.

"What did he get?" Ginny asked curiously.

"A chopped of finger, I bet," Ron muttered. "Aow!" Hermione had jammed her elbow in between his ribs.

"Galleons.." Neville mubled. "About three hundred, I think."

Ron's jaw was basically lying on the floor, along with Fred's. "That's insane. Why would he give you three hundred galleons?"

"It's obviously compensation for your wand," said Hermione with a satisfied smile.

"But three _hundred_?" Ron and his siblings weren't used to seeing that many galleons all at once.

"He probably got a guilty conscience," said Harry and shrugged. "By the way, how did it go today?" The last question was whispered to Hermione.

She smiled. "Pretty good. I'm going to go upstairs and talk to him a bit more."

"Aren't you being a bit too pushy?" asked Ron disapprovingly.

"I don't have much of a choice, do I?" Hermione and Ron glared at each other until Hermione turned and went to the boys' dormitories.

"I'm worried about her," Ron mumbled.

"It'll be all right. He can't do anything as long as we're at Hogwarts."

"To bad Voldemort doesn't seem to know that," Ron growled.

...

"Nathaniel?" He was sitting in the windowsill again.

"Yes?" This time his voice sounded a lot warmer.

"If I ask really nicely, will you show me your eyes?"

He turned his head to look at her. "No," he said shortly.

"Why not?" she sounded a bit like a whiny kid.

"Because," he said and smiled teasingly.

She sat down at the bed next to the window and looked at him. He reminded her of Malfoy. The fine features of his face was the same, and the pale, porcelain-like skin too. Harry had told her earlier that he thought that Nathaniel looked familiar, but that he couldn't quite place him.

"Are you related to Malfoy?" she asked without thinking. Nathaniel immediately started to laugh. It wasn't a very nice laugh. "Sorry for asking!" she said, upset by his mockery.

"Sorry," he smiled apologetically. "I'm more related to Harry than Draco, so you don't have too worry."

Hermione looked at him with a confused expression. "You're related to Harry?"

"Remotely, yes." When she looked closely she had to admit that they had the same black, messy hair. Although Nathaniel's haircut was more fashionable and befitting.

"James' side?"

"Don't know. It's, as I said, very remotely."

"I could never have guessed," she sounded thoughtful. "Any more interesting relatives?"

He looked out through the window again. "No one I care to mention," he murmured.

"Well, you have to like your parents, right?" she said with a laugh.

He twitched as if she had hit him. "You don't know anything about me, or my parents, so stop acting like we're friends!"

She stared at him, eyes widened with surprise. She must have hit a weak point. "Sorry," she said quietly. "I just want to get to know you."

"Go, before I do something stupid." His hands were shaking uncontrollably and created a sharp contrast with his face, which looked completely indifferent. "Go."

_(Thanks for reading an please review! - Alvarin)_


	5. Friends?

**Chapter 5 – Friends?**

The duelling club had been reopened. O'Sullivan apparently missed the club from his time at Hogwarts, which wasn't that long ago, so he had convinced Flitwick that they should hold the first meetings together.

"Welcome everyone!" said Flitwick loudly so that everyone would hear. "At the request of professor O'Sullivan I will keep this briefing as short as possible. We will demonstrate how it's done, and then we'll let you try."

O'Sullivan looked slightly nervous, which wasn't odd, considering that he was about to face Hogwart's former duelling champion. "You start of by bowing to each other." O'Sullivan and Flitwick faced each other and bowed. "After that you turn around and take three steps." Once again they did as he'd said. "When both has turned around, the duel starts." They turned around at the same time. Almost immediately Flitwick raised his wand.

"Stupify!" he cried as loudly as he could with his small voice. O'Sullivan did an all but gracious roll to the side, and just barely succeeded to avoid the spell.

With a small bounce he turned in the right direction again. "Expelliarmus!"

"Protego!" O'Sullivan's spell was reflected and tossed back at him. He flew backwards and landed heavily on his back. His wand flew out of his hand and landed by the at the wall behind him.

Flitwick blushed when the Rawenclaw students gave him an applause. "Thank you, that's enough, that's enough! Now I want two volunteers." O'Sullivan got up with a groan. A girl from Hufflepuff gave him his wand back. "Maybe you, ms Granger?" he said with a smile towards Hermione. Ron patted her encouragingly on the back when she walked up to the long stage.

"And who wants to face her?" said O'Sullivan, who had recovered his breath. Since no one raised their hand he pointed at a student at random. "Fucking cowards. Who ever it is I'm pointing at, get up here," he said in an annoyed voice..

Nathaniel smiled when the students around him backed away. "Okay then," he said, sounding very smug.

Harry couldn't help but worry. Not that he didn't believe in Hermiones' skills, but he had seen what Nathaniel had done with a normal Lumos the day before. If he pulled a stunt like that against Hermione she could get seriously hurt. Judging by O'Sullivan's face, he seemed to be thinking the same thing.

"No, I pointed at.. Aow!" Flitwick had stomped on his foot.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" the little teacher exclaimed with feigned regret.

Nathaniel stepped up on the stage and faced Hermione. If she was worried, she didn't show it.

They bowed, turned around and took three steps. They turned around at the exact same time. Hermione didn't even have time to open her mouth before she lay sprawled on the floor. She sat up with eyes widened by surprise, only to be met by Nathaniel's amused smile. He had one hand in his pocket and in the other one he held her wand.

It took a while for the others to realise that Nathaniel had won, but when they finally did they started cheering like mad. Or at least the Slytherins did. Ron poked at Harry's arm and nodded towards Malfoy. His smile was shining with malice.

Nathaniel walked towards Hermione and reached out his hand to help her up. That wasn't received as wholeheartedly by the Slytherins. When she was up on her feet again, he gave back her wand.

"Very well done, mr Knightblade! I suggest you join the club permanently." Flitwick always sounded overjoyed when he praised a student, no matter who that student was. "Well? Anyone else up for a duel?" This time, several students raised their hands.

"How did you do that?" Hermione asked when they stepped down from the stage.

Nathaniel smiled. "I imagined pulling a carpet away from under you feet, and you fell."

Hermione looked at him, surprised. "You don't even have to think of a specific spell?"

"Not if it's something simple," he mumbled distractedly. "What do you want?"

Malfoy had put his hand on Nathaniel's shoulder. "I just wanted to congratulate you." He took an envelope out of his pocket. "And give you this. Ask the sender to stop addressing your letters to me, will you?" he said with a false smile.

Nathaniel took the letter from Draco, looking a bit surprised. On it was his name, written with elegant letters by a hand he knew all too well. "How did you get this?"

"My dad sent it, together with the rest of my letters from the manor." Malfoy leaned closer to Nathaniel and whispered: "You seem to be very popular with you-know-who," with a devilish smile.

Without warning Nathaniel pushed Malfoy aside and hurried out of the great hall.

"What was the matter with him?" Ron asked, sounding surprised.

"I'm about to find out," said Hermione and blinked. Her attempt to look carefree didn't work. Both Ron and Harry could see how worried she really was.

...

Nathaniel stared at the letter that he held in his hand. He had run down to the boathouse for privacy.

_I know where you are, my son._

There was no signature, but Nathaniel knew who had sent it, and it made his knees quiver. For a moment he had been able to convince himself that he would be safe at Hogwarts, but he had obviously been wrong.

"Nathaniel!" Hermione shouted. She had just climbed down the stairs and panted, a bit like a dog. "You shouldn't take Malfoy seriously, he'll say anything to hurt you," Hermione said, in an attempt to comfort him. She had obviously not heard what Malfoy had actually said.

Nathaniel crumbled the letter and tossed it in the lake. "Like a dog would ever be able to hurt me," he drawled.

"Dog? More like a deceitful snake," said Hermione with a smile. Hesitantly she put her arms around him and pressed her face against his back.

"Snakes are a lot nobler than him." He laughed softly. "What are you doing?"

"What I'm doing?" she said, sounding surprised.

"You're hugging me," he answered his own question. "Didn't I tell you to avoid me?"

Hermione pulled him even closer towards her. "And I told you that I wasn't going to listen."

"Suit yourself," he murmured. No one had ever hugged him before, and he was starting to realise what he had missed. Hermione was so warm..

"No objections? I'm almost starting to suspect that you actually appreciate my company."

"Don't get any ideas," he said and tried to sound sulky.

Hermione laughed. "Okay, I'm going to try not to." Suddenly they heard the sound of the bells in the clock tower. "Come on," she said and let him go. "It's time for herbology!" She ran up the stairs. "Come on!"

Nathaniel laughed mockingly. "You've never been late for class, have you?"

"Of course not!"

"As I thought," he said ruefully.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

They continued their playful bickering until they reached the greenhouse.

...

Ron and Harry looked meaningfully at each other.

"What?" Hermione asked, clearly annoyed by their reaction.

They were studying in the library. Even though the summer vacation was about to start, McGonagall and Sprout had showered them with homework. Evil conspiracy, according to Ron.

"You hugged him," said Ron with a disgusted face. "You hugged a death eater."

"He's not a death eater, and he needed a hug," she said flatly.

Harry sighed. "We don't know whether he is a death eater or not, and I don't think it's a good idea to get too close to him."

"But our plan.."

"Forget the stupid plan!" Ron exclaimed furiously. "He could hurt you!"

"Calm down, Ron," said Harry. Ron was almost impossible when he was jealous. "There is a possibility that he is tricking you. Did you even find out what was in that letter?"

Hermione shook her head. She had forgot to ask.

"Did you find out what Malfoy told him?"

"Yes. Or.." She looked down at the book she was reading. She hadn't asked that either.

"Don't let him get so close. It's not like you're friends," said Harry. He had been trying to sound friendly, but in Hermiones' ears he just sounded patronizing.

"Of course we're friends!"

Ron laughed, and it sounded mean. "Yeah, sure. What's his middle name?"

"I don't even know what _your_ middle name is," she said in a tired voice.

"Where did he come from? What's the names of his parents? What does he do on his spare time?"

Hermione stood up suddenly. "You're such a jerk sometimes!" She took her book and ran out of the library.

"What? I'm right, aren't I!" Ron shouted.

"It's probably something about the way you said it," Harry said with a sigh. _Blockheaded? No, not Ron. Never! _he thought tiredly.

"But seriously, they aren't really friends now, are they?"

"Friends? Who knows. Are you and Hermione really friends right now?" he said with a raised eyebrow.

_(Hello! I'm pleased to say that I only have one or two chapters left to write on part two, which means I'll be able to translate a bit faster for a couple of weeks ;) Thanks for reading and please review! - Alvarin)_


	6. Hidden Talents

**Chapter 6 – Hidden Talents**

"Unbelievable!" Ron exclaimed suddenly. He and Harry were on their way towards the quidditch field together with Nathaniel and Hermione, who were walking a bit behind them. Harry had started to realise that maybe Nathaniel wasn't evil after all_,_ but Ron still denied that there might be even a teeny tiny possibility that he, somewhere deep inside, wasn't absolutely 100% evil. "Summer vacation starts in a week, and no one has tried to kill us yet!" he continued happily, but then glanced suspiciously over his shoulder. "Although.. There's a _whole_ week left."

The fact that Voldemort hadn't shown himself during the whole year didn't make Harry as happy as it should have. What were his plans? Since he had remained hidden in the shadows for so long, it was sure to be something big.

"Even if someone really is about to kill us, I doubt it'll be Nathaniel. He's got his hands full," Harry said with a nod towards them. Hermione barely had time for her two friends any more, since she focused all her time and energy on Nathaniel, which was driving Ron mad with jealousy.

"I don't trust him! As soon as we turn our back to him, he'll.."

".. sweep her of her feet?" Harry said with a smile. He didn't doubt for a moment that Ron would be the one to win her heart eventually. It was only good for him to get some competition.

"Yeah, _sure,_" Ron growled.

"Oh, right! I almost forgot," Harry exclaimed and turned towards Nathaniel. "Nathaniel!"

Nathaniel looked up with a surprised expression. "Yes?"

"Fred and George won't be coming today. Could you take Fred's place?" Ron's jaw basically dropped to the ground.

Nathaniel smiled teasingly. "Close your mouth, Ron. Yes, Harry, I'd love to play!"

"Great!"

"You've got to be kidding me!" Ron hissed. "He doesn't even have a broomstick."

"He bought a firebolt," said Harry calmly. "Since this is Fred and George's last year we have to find new beaters. I bet Nathaniel will fit right in."

Ron groaned. "And who'll be taking George's spot?"

"You."

Ron blinked with surprise. "But.."

"McLaggen will play as keeper."

"So you're going to replace me?" Ron shouted furiously.

Harry was running out of patience. "How could I replace you with McLaggen when he graduates this year?"

"But if you could, I bet you would!" Ron ran towards the quidditch field and left the others behind. Harry sighed. Ron could be such an idiot sometimes.

"What happened?" Hermione shouted.

Harry turned towards them. "Guess!"

He could almost see the lightbulb over her head. "It'll pass, I'm sure of it." She and Nathaniel had gotten closer, so that they didn't have to shout at each other.

"I know," said Harry with a smile.

"Is this my fault?" Nathaniel asked, seemingly indifferent. He liked Ron just as much as Ron liked him.

"No, don't worry about it. He needs to have an outburst now or then, or he would be Ron," said Hermione amusedly.

"Outburst?" he asked, sounding confused. Hermione didn't have time to answer before they reached the locker room.

"Why don't you wait on the bleachers?" Harry asked. Hermione nodded and left. "I'm going to try to find some equipment that suits you." Nathaniel nodded and they entered the locker room.

Ron was tying his shoes, an didn't even look up when they entered. McLaggen, Robins, Ginny and Katie Bell were also changing.

"Hey, guys!" said Harry loudly, so that they would listen. "As you might now, Fred and George are starting their own business, so they have taken some time of this last week. Nathaniel will be replacing Fred.." Everyone looked up with horror evident on their faces. ".. At least for today," Harry felt compelled to add. "Ron will replace George, and McLaggen will play as keeper."

"Will we be playing like this during the match tomorrow?" Katie asked. Everyone looked tense. It was the final match, and they were facing Slytherin.

"If it works on today's practise, yes."

Ron grabbed his broom and stomped furiously out on the field.

"Wait, I'll get some equipment for you," Harry told Nathaniel and opened a closet door. From the outside it looked like an ordinary closet, but after opening the door you could see that it was large enough to get lost in. Harry didn't have to go far in to find what he was looking for. _Self-adjusting_, Harry read. _Should fit him, right?_

He exited the closet, carrying all the equipment that Nathaniel would possibly need, and tossed it down on an empty bench. The others had already left.

"Try these, they should fit."

"Thanks," Nathaniel said before starting to change.

Harry twitched. Now he had his chance. He hadn't, despite being more and more convinced each day that passed, completely ruled out the possibility that Nathaniel might be a death eater.

"Harry?" said Nathaniel with an amused voice.

"Yes?" said Harry, sounding surprised.

"Can you stop staring at my arm?" He smiled. "Or at least ogle a bit more discreetly?"

Harry smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, I.."

".. Were just checking if I'm a death eater?" Nathaniel suddenly looked seriously.

Harry occupied himself with strapping on his left bracer, so that he didn't have to face Nathaniel's scrutinizing gaze. He was ashamed. "I just wanted to make sure that you're not a danger to anyone."

"Would you believe me if I simply told you that I'm not a death eater?" Nathaniel had stopped staring, and was once again changing, but his voice was still as serious as before.

"No," said Harry after considering for a while. _I probably should have lied._

"Too bad," Nathaniel mumbled, sounding disappointed, and stepped out on the quidditch field.

Harry sighed. _Nicely done! _Hermione would kill him if she heard about this.

...

"Wow," Ginny exclaimed. "I've never seen someone so.." She couldn't think of a suiting word. Actually, she could think of plenty, but not one she would want to say out loud.

"Gracious?" Katie suggested with the same dreamy expression.

Ginny nodded. "He looks like he's dancing. Aow!" Ron had thrown the quaffle at her.

"Concentrate on the practise!" Harry shouted. He had been forced to make McLaggen and Ron swap place, since Ron had turned out to be a real public danger with his bat. Luckily both Nathaniel and McLaggen had turned out to be great beaters, although they lacked that obvious partnership that Fred and George had. Not that Harry had expected anything like that.

"Killjoy," Ginny muttered, but did as she had been told. Both she and Katie seemed to look at Nathaniel with new eyes.

"If he tries to hit on my sister I'll shove the quaffle up his.."

"That's quit enough," Harry said with a laugh. Ron had gotten over his anger the same moment that Harry had put him back in front of the hoops. _You can say what you want about Ron, but he doesn't hold grudges for very long._ Harry couldn't help but wonder how Ron would react if he asked Ginny out, as he had been planing to do in the beginning of the year. For a while, he had been falling in love, but then all the homework and other stuff had pushed Ginny out of his mind, although not completely. Despite her watching Nathaniel like a hungry owl, he didn't feel too worried – or at least that was what he tried to tell himself – since he would get to spend the whole summer together with her in the Burrow.

"Robbins, try to score some points. Ron will guard and Ginny and Katie will try to stop you, and then you can take turns trying to score."

Ron sighed. "We'll have no energy left before the match if you continue pushing us like this," he said before flying to the hoops.

"Nathaniel!"

Nathaniel stopped in the middle of a strike and let the bludger sweep by him. "Yes?"

"Come here," he ordered.

Nathaniel turned his broom and flew to Harry. "What is it?"

Harry showed him the snitch that he was holding in his hand. "You can't get much better than you already are as a beater, so I thought that maybe you'd be up for a bet?"

Nathaniel grinned like he had already forgotten what had happened in the locker room. "Whoever catches the snitch first?"

"Yeah."

"And what does the winner get?" Harry couldn't read Nathaniel's face.

"If I win you have to join our team as beater next year," said Harry flatly.

"Sure," said Nathaniel with a voice that sounded slightly nonchalant. "If I win I want the marauder's map."

Harry's jaw dropped. _How the hell has he heard about that?_ "Okay," he heard himself say without really wanting to. "But in that case I want you to show me your left forearm, if I win."

Nathaniel smiled as if he had been expecting Harry to say that. "Fine." He reached out his hand, and Harry shook it. No way that he would let someone take his map.

Together they counted to three before Harry let the snitch go. They shot from the ground at the same time. It was as if the snitch could feel how eager they both were, since it dived down below the bleachers, just like the first time he had played against Malfoy.

Nathaniel dived down among the beams. Harry chose to stay above, in case it would come out. He had expected Nathaniel to crash into one of the beams, but to his great surprise he noticed that Nathaniel was quicker than him even with such a disadvantage.

The snitch did a sudden turn upwards. Harry forced his broom to go even faster, passed Nathaniel and reached out his hand. When he felt the fluttering wings against his fingertips Nathaniel shot up like a bullet and grabbed the snitch. Harry was forced to swerve to avoid him and almost fell of his broom doing it. He cursed under his breath.

"Wow, that was intense!" cried Ginny, who had just landed beside them. The rest of the team were already there.

"Who caught the snitch?" said Ron, wile looking at Harry's clutched fists.

"Nathaniel," Harry admitted, with a bad attempt to cover the disappointment in his voice. He couldn't believe he had just lost his father's map.

Ron stepped forward and patted him on the back. "You better watch yourself, or we'll replace you."

Harry glared at him. He knew that Ron would probably be replaced along with him if that ever happened, but he didn't say that out loud, since he didn't want Ron to get mad again.

"You can keep the map," said Nathaniel happily when he approached them. "I'm afraid that I wasn't completely honest before."

"How?" said Harry, sounding a bit surprised, but mostly happy.

"I used to be the team captain of Blackfield's quidditch team, played as a seeker for several years. Although that was more like duelling than quidditch.." His voice trailed of.

"_What does that have with anything to do?" _Harry wanted to ask, but Nathaniel was quicker.

"And as the true sportsman that you are, you held back, right? Since you thought I was new at this.. Any way, you can keep the map, but I'd love to borrow it sometime."

"Sure," Harry said with a relieved smile. _I did definitely not hold back._

_(As always, thanks for reading and please review! - Alvarin)_


	7. Finally Vacation

**Chapter 7 – Finally Vacation**

There was absolute silence on the field and on the bleaches. People couldn't wrap their heads around what just had happened, or how it had happened. Madam Hooch was arguing quietly with Dumbledore down at the field. Eventually Dumbledore nodded and left.

Madam Hooch flew up to the commentator's booth and whispered something to Luna Lovegood.

"The match will continue until Harry.. I mean, _any _of the seekers have caught the snitch."

Harry couldn't help but smile. He was the only seeker left on the field. The Gryffindor students cheered almost as loudly as the Slytherins hissed.

"Harry, the snitch is over by the Slytherins' hoops!" Nathaniel shouted and pointed at the barely visible golden spot. Together the whole team flew towards the snitch and surrounded it. Harry only needed to dive down and grab it, and the match was finished. The cheers of the Gryffindors rose to a deafening roar.

"Harry has caught the snitch! Gryffindor wins the cup!" Luna shouted, carried away by the overwhelming joy from the audience.

...

Hermione tossed a beaming smile at Nathaniel before throwing herself in his arms. The hug didn't last long since she hurried to hug Ron and Harry too.

"They'll write about this in the history books, I'm sure. I've never seen anything like it!" she exclaimed, happy as could be. "You'll definitely lead England to the world cup one day," she said to Nathaniel with an even wider smile. Nathaniel just nodded. Hermione's comment had obliterated even the slightest shred of happiness that he might have felt.

Ron patted Nathaniel wholeheartedly on the back. "I never thought that I would say this.. But you were fucking great!"

The students who wanted to congratulate Nathaniel just kept coming, most of them were from Gryffindor, but some were from Hufflepuff and Rawenclaw too. All their fear, that had previously been so evident, had been replaced by deep admiration. Though the Slytherins hated him more than ever.

It wasn't long until Nathaniel had had enough of the attention and returned to the common room. Hermione followed him, while Ron and Harry stayed to celebrate with the rest of their team.

When Hermione followed him up the stairs she couldn't help but smile. Today's match had been incredible. Nathaniel had hit the bludgers with such precision and power that he had soon knocked out the whole Slytherin team. Madam Hooch had stopped the game when Malfoy, the last Slytherin still in the air, hit the ground. She hadn't known if the game had been automatically won by Gryffindor, if it should be continued until Harry caught the snitch, or if it had to be postponed until at least one of the Slytherin players could fly again. There were no rules, since it hadn't happened before. Dumbledore had therefore been forced to consult the international quidditch association before the match could continue. Catching the snitch had been ridiculously easy and Gryffindor had won with 1560 points, which was insane considering that the match had only lasted for 2 hours.

Hermione found Nathaniel alone, slumped in an armchair in the common room. "Tired?" she asked amusedly. His expression said it all.

"What do you think? They're completely mad. Barely gave me space to breath, close as they were."

Hermione giggled, which wasn't like her. "You've gotten admirers, isn't that a good thing?"

"It would be better for them if they were still afraid of me," he said wearily.

"The summer vacation will start in a couple of days, so you better bask in it while you can," said Hermione encouragingly. "Speaking of which, are you going home by train?"

Nathaniel looked up. He tried to smile, but was obviously uncomfortable with the subject. "No, I'll probably stay here during the summer."

"In the school?" said Hermione, sounding more alarmed than surprised. "Is that even allowed?"

Nathaniel shrugged. "I don't know where Dumbledore is planing to place me, but the school seems most likely."

"_Place_?_"_ she asked in surprise. "You're not allowed to go home?" The memory of how he had reacted when she had tried to talk to him about his parents popped up, and warned her to be careful. Maybe she should steer clear of the subject?

"I can't leave Dumbledore's supervision. It was one of the term of my release."

"Oh.." Hermione didn't know what to say. Apparently the ministry still thought that he was dangerous.

"Don't look so sad," said Nathaniel with a soft smile. "I get the library all to myself the whole summer." He winked.

Hermione slipped down in his lap, something that had become a bit of a habit the last few days. She wasn't even embarrassed about being so close any more. "I bet Dumbledore would let you stay at my place during the summer if I asked," she said with a smile and leaned her head against his shoulder. He smelled nicely. Like a mix of sun-warmed stone and wet forest. Quite odd for a human to smell like that, but it made her think of the times she had camped in the wilderness together with her family.

"That's not a good idea," he mumbled.

"Why not?" She wanted to spend the summer with him. She wanted it so much that it burned in her chest. It was something unexplainable that pulled her towards him, and she couldn't do anything about it. It reminded her of how a moth is pulled towards light.

"Because I'd be putting both you and your parents in danger."

She looked up at him, slightly startled. "I thought you had given up on your attempts to convince me that you're dangerous," she said disappointedly.

Nathaniel sighed. "I _am_ dangerous," he muttered. ".. and I'm hunted by death eaters, so I don't think a muggle home would be the best place for me right now."

Hermione winced. "Hunted? Why? Do they no you're here?"

Nathaniel put his arms around Hermione, to stop her from asking anything more. "I can't tell you why, and yes, they definitely know that I'm here."

A shudder ran through her whole body. More secrets. "There's so much that you won't tell me," she mumbled quietly.

"It's best if you don't know."

She twitched. "No, it's not!" she exclaimed suddenly. "How do you think it makes me feel when you won't even show me your eyes?"

He groaned. "Hermione, we've already been through this."

"Do you really think I would care even if they look weird? I wouldn't care even if you didn't have any eyes at all. How superficial do you think I am!" She got up angrily and backed away a few steps. He didn't actually deserve all that, but she couldn't control herself. There was so much that she wanted to know, needed to know, but so little that he actually told her.

Suddenly Nathaniel got up jerked of his sunglasses and stared her right in the eyes. "Are you happy now?" he asked, sounding more disappointed than angry.

Hermione gasped, even though she had been expecting much worse. The light reflected in his eyes as if they were made of metal. _Silver,_ was her first thought, but she soon realised that she had to be wrong. His irises had the same colour as silver, but they gave the impression of being liquid. _Mercury_. In spite of the weird colour, it was the black mark around his left iris that immediately attracted her attention. She approached slowly to see what it was. From afar it looked like some type of injury, but when she came closer she saw a symbol appear more and more clearly. Around his iris circled a black snake that bit itself in the tail. _An ouroboros._

"Well?" he said after a while, and she became acutely aware of how close his face was.

She backed a few steps. "How.." She didn't even know how to answer the question.

"I was born like this," he said flatly. His face was unreadable.

"That's not.."

"Possible? Well, apparently it is." He put his sunglasses back on. "Is that enough for today or is there something more that you absolutely can't live without knowing?" Now he sounded mad.

"Not that I think that you'd actually be a.." she stopped herself in mid sentence and looked hesitantly at him. She bit her lip. She had already hurt him once that night. Should she really do it again?

"What?" he finally said.

"Can you show me your arm?" she asked quietly. She was almost hoping that he hadn't heard her.

"No," he said shortly and stalked of towards the dormitories. On the first step he stopped, one foot still in the air behind him. "Would you believe me if I told you that I'm not a death eater?"

She didn't even have to consider it. "Yes," she said without a doubt in her mind.

He climbed the stairs without saying anything more.

...

Hermione hadn't slept well during the night. A snake had hunted her in her dreams. Her nightmares. When she went down to the common room Harry and Ron were already waiting. It was probably the first time ever that they had gotten up before her.

"Good morning," she said wearily.

Ron gave her an odd look. "What have you done with your hair?" he grunted.

Hermione sighed when she looked herself in the mirror. Her hair looked like a bird's nest after a tornado had torn through it, just like it always did in the morning. She had forgotten to fix it. With a simple spell she pushed it down and combed it into her usual hairstyle.

"Better?"

Ron nodded. "Are we gonna go down and grab some breakfast?"

"Shouldn't we wait for Nathaniel?"

Harry threw a worried glance at Ron, who said: "He hasn't been sleeping here tonight. When we went to bed he and his broom were allready gone." Hermione felt her heart drop. _Did I make him that angry? _she wondered.

"Come on, lets go," said Harry in an attempt to sound happy. The gaze that he and Ron exchanged told her that something was very wrong.

"What has happened?" she asked firmly, in a tone that wouldn't allow them to change the subject. No way in hell that she would let them of the hook without telling her all that they knew.

"Umm.. Well.." Harry started hesitantly and pulled his fingers through his hear, in the same manor he always did when he was nervous.

"He left a note," said Ron while instinctively putting his hand on the right pocket of his pants.

"Give it to me!" she demanded. What had Nathaniel written that she couldn't know?

Ron backed away. "No, it clearly says that you're not supposed to.."

"Give it to me! Now!"

Clumsily and slowly he did as he had been told. When he had finally gotten the note up from his pocket Hermione tore it from his hand immediately.

_Don't let Hermione open this._

"Don't let me open _what?_" she wondered, sounding frustrated.

"This," said Harry and pulled an envelope out of his sleeve.

Hermione yanked it out of his hand and stared at it. It was addressed to Dumbledore. "We need to give this to him, at once," she exclaimed and then looked at Harry. "Were you planing on doing this without me?" Her voice had a threatening undertone that made Harry swallow loudly.

"We were afraid that you might open it," mumbled Ron.

"Honestly, Ron. You and Harry are the only ones who would do something like that. Come on now!"

"Aren't we going to eat first?" Ron asked anxiously. His two friends ignored his rumbling tummy.

…

Dumbledore had already left his office and was on his way to the great hall when the three friend literally ran into him.

"Why in such hurry?" he asked amusedly.

Hermione gave him the envelope at once. "Nathaniel left this on his bed."

The head master raised a puzzled eyebrow. "He has left the school?"

Harry shrugged. "Don't know, he didn't say anything about it on the note."

Dumbledore hurried to take the envelope from Hermione and went back towards his office.

"You better come with me," he shouted without stopping.

They sped after him. While walking towards the office she wondered if it was really her fault, or if something else had happened during the night. She cursed herself for being so pushy. _Same mistake I make with all guys_, she thought, annoyed.

When the arrived at Dumbledore's office they sat down on chairs that the head master had quickly conjured up. The head master himself sat down in his usual chair, behind the desk. With a letter opener he sliced open the envelope and read with a frown of deep concentration. When he was finished reading, he looked up at them with a concerned face.

"I was afraid this would happen," he mumbled.

"_What_ is it that has happened?" Harry asked quickly.

"Do you remember last year when Voldemort tricked you with those false visions?" Harry nodded. Did the principal even need to ask? It wasn't something that you'd forget. None of the three understood what Dumbledore was getting at. "Thanks to the lessons in occlumency Voldemort no longer has that influence on you. What Nathaniel has been put through is in many ways like what Voldemort tried to do to you, but their bond goes _much_ deeper.."

"Deeper?" Harry asked, not quite understanding.

"I don't know exactly what bond it is that they share, but it took me several days and countless spells before I managed to clear Nathaniel's mind enough to allow him to think for himself.."

"But why did he leave?" Hermione asked. She was getting more and more worried for every passing second.

"As I said, the bond between them is deep, and I couldn't sever it completely. Voldemort were regaining his control, so Nathaniel left to protect you and all the other students."

"So then, he really is a death eater?" Ron muttered. "And I who was starting to like him.."

"If you're wondering if he has the dark mark on his forearm, then the answer is yes. But I doubt he was even aware what was happening when the went through the ritual."

"Does the letter say where he is going?" Hermione said quietly. She felt even more weary now than she had when she got up.

"Where ever Voldemort calls him. He doesn't write any exact location. I doubt he even knows where he's headed." Dumbledore gazed out of the window. Hermione opened her mouth to ask something more, but Dumbledore held up a hand to silence her. "It's all that it says, and all that I know. If there is anything you have found out, anything, please tell me." With the last word he looked back at them with a face so serious that it almost looked grim.

Hermione didn't know if she should tell him about Nathaniel's eyes, but the head master probably knew already, so it wouldn't hurt if she told him. "His eyes," she started hesitantly. She had gotten the feeling that Nathaniel wouldn't want her to tell anyone. That its was between him and her.

"Have you seen them?" Dumbledore asked, sounding more surprised than he had in a long time.

"Yes. The colour of his eyes were like mercury, it floated, and he had.." she doubted, not knowing what words to use.

"Since he's so particular about hiding them, it probably is an important clue." Dumbledore looked at her with eyes that seemed to see right through her, as if he could get the words without her actually saying them.

"Around his left iris was a snake that bit it's own tale."

Dumbledore's suddenly lost it's colour, which was unusual for a wizard who was normally so calm and collected. Whatever happened he never looked especially effected by it, but now they could tell that he was upset.

"What does it mean?" Harry demanded, afraid that the head master would fall into his usual silence.

"I-I'm not entirely sure, I need to confirm a few thing before I make any conclusions about this."

"We should follow him," said Ron. "He couldn't have gotten that far, and if he's headed to Voldemort we have to stop him, right?"

Dumbledore shook his head. "His magic is greater than you could ever imagine. If Voldemort has regained his control over him there is nothing you can do, except to avoid him."

"But you can.."

"No, mr Weasley. I'm afraid there is no wizard or witch in this world that can defeat him when he isn't himself. The only reason that the ministry was able to put him in Azkaban was because Voldemort - for a moment - had no use for him, so he let Nathaniel regain a bit of control."

"But what should we do then?" Hermione sounded desperate.

"Go home. This school year is about to end, and when it does I want you to go home and stay there. I'll take care of things to the best of my abilities." They all got up. They knew it was useless to try to force more information out of the head master.

Just before reaching the door Dumbledore called Harry's name. He turned towards the head master. "Harry, if you see him this summer I want you to run. He's the most dangerous person you could ever encounter."

...

"Well?" Ron asked, sounding annoyed. "Are we just going to wait, or are we going to follow him?"

"You heard what Dumbledore said," Hermione mumbled reluctantly. "We don't stand a chance against him if Voldemort is in control. You saw what happened when he used Neville's wand." Her words made her feel uncomfortable. The fact that Voldemort could gain complete control over a human being, without the imperious curse, scared her more than anything ever had.

"We can't just leave him!" Ron exclaimed. He didn't seem to recollect that he himself had, just a few days ago, hated Nathaniel's guts.

"We don't have another choice," said Harry. The warning that Dumbledore had given him had laid itself over his chest, pressing down so hard that he couldn't get enough air. Dumbledore had never told him to run from anything before. "When vacation starts, we go home."

Harry was convinced that whatever Nathaniel had been called for was the next step in Voldemort's plan, and that he would - once again - be fighting for not just his own life, but the lives of his friends.

_(Okay, a bit of information: 1. Part one of this story will be 11 chapters long, so it's not that much left 2. I'm planning on adding a part between part 1 and 2, inventive as I am I'll be calling that part 1,5 and it will explain a couple of things that I noticed that the swedish version is lacking. As always, thanks for reading and please review! - Alvarin)_


	8. Darkness

**Chapter 8 – Darkness**

_Where am I?_

Nathaniel tried to open his eyes, but couldn't no matter how hard he tried.

_You're home._

If he had been able to, he would've screamed. He wasn't alone in his head any more. The red eyes was there once again, and they were looking at him. No matter what he did, no matter what he thought, the eyes were there. Constantly watching. He felt something touch his cheek. Stroking it like you might stroke a kitten, but only with one finger. He tried to open his eyes again, and this time they actually opened, but he wasn't the one doing it.

"My son," the detestable face hissed. It was so close that he could feel the warm breath coming from it's thin nostrils.

_I'm not your son!_

Once again Voldemort traced the tip of his wand along Nathaniel's cheekbone. "Still stubborn? You are incorrigible." He turned suddenly and crossed the floor in what seemed to be small, long since abandoned church. "Soon I will allow you to fulfil your destiny. I know how you long for it."

Nathaniel didn't know what destiny Voldemort was talking about, but whatever it was, it couldn't be good. Suddenly the picture of Hermione flickered in his mind, and with it came of course the memory of Harry and Ron.

Voldemort gasped for breath. Or was it a laugh?"Harry Potter? Unfortunately, he's mine, but I'll gladly let you kill the other two."

Inside he was screaming, but his body didn't even blink.

_Release me!_

"No, I can't do that, you're important to me. Be a good boy and stay here while I prepare the last step." On his way out, he nodded to a figure hidden in the shadows. "Have fun," he said with a laughter that would have suited a hyena better than a human.

As soon as the doors closed, Nathaniel felt how he regained control. He fell down on his knees. Escaping was useless. Voldemort was still in his head, and he wouldn't be able to run without Voldemort retaking control and punishing him for his attempt to flee.

The man suddenly left the shadows, and Nathaniel winced when he saw the familiar face. It was a face he had learned to hate.

"Nathaniel," he greeted. "My master may call you _his _son, but you are as much my son as you are his."

"What do you want?" Nathaniel could almost feel how the walls seemed to come closer and closer.

"What I want?" he said with a quizzical face. "I want what all men want. Fame, glory, money and _power_."

"Power? That's not something that I can give you."

"Oh, yes you can." Lucius Malfoy took his wand out and pointed it at Nathaniel's chest. "If I had your strength, I would be invincible. Everyone would yield to my will!"

"I can't give you.."

Malfoy flicked his wand towards Nathaniel, and he immediately felt a stab of pain in his chest. "My master has already given me the spell."

_That cant be right_, Nathaniel thought. Why would Voldemort give away power like that? And to such an uninfluential death eater. It was as if a cold hand had took hold of his heart when he finally realised what was about to happen.

_No, no, no!_

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," he said with feigned calmness.

"Really?" Malfoy pursed his mouth.

"You're obviously being fooled.."

"Be quiet and let me concentrate!" Malfoy snapped. He took position in front of Nathaniel with his wand raised. Nathaniel dreaded the spell that would soon come. The spell that gave him so much power that he didn't know what to do with it. There was no point in dodging, he knew that, since Voldemort would notice and force him to stay put.

"Fortitudinem meam!" Malfoy cried. Nathaniel instinctively tried to fend of the spell, despite knowing that it was useless, but Voldemort wouldn't let him.

Light gushed out of Malfoy's wand and wrapped both him and Nathaniel. Malfoy yelped in fear when he felt his own magic being drained from him and then transferred to Nathaniel. With a deep sigh he let the magic spread through his body. The hope was gone. His last hope.

When the process was completed, Malfoy lay shivering on the floor. "I warned you."

"M-my magic. Give back my magic!" he cried pathetically.

"I can't. You're a regular human, so unlike me you can't be used as a vessel."

Malfoy looked up at Nathaniel. He could see in the man's eyes that he had finally begun to realise what a huge mistake he had done. "You have to help me," he begged.

"I can't," Nathaniel repeated. "You should leave before he comes back."

Malfoy must have realised the same thing, because he was already up and on his way out of there. It looked as if he was crying, but Nathaniel was convinced that he had just gotten something in his eye.

_Now it's time to kill your pesky little friends._

Nathaniel tried, but for nothing. Once again he was trapped in his own body, and to his great dismay the body started to move out of the church.

…

Ron groaned. "Could you snap out of it, just for a bloody second? It's summer vacation and all three of us are here. We should be out having fun, not sitting here, _moping_!"

Hermione shot Ron an annoyed glare. "How am I supposed to have fun when I know that Nathaniel is in danger?"

"We're the ones in danger, not him," Harry muttered. He had been looking forward to a nice and easy vacation with his friends, but instead he would be forced to fight Voldemort, again.

"Nathaniel would never hurt us!" Hermione exclaimed, shocked by Harry's statement. They had been through this several times already, without getting anywhere.

"He doesn't have a choice."

They were sitting on Ron's bed. They had been sitting there every day, looking at the wall, for a week. No one felt like getting up and actually _doing _something. Ron was just as upset as the other two, but he tried not to show it. Suddenly a voice from down below shouted: "Tea time!"

Ron looked at the others with a raised eyebrow, but they just shook their heads. "We don't want anything, Ginny!"

"Your sister has made a cake, so at least get down here and taste it, Ron!" Molly yelled.

Ron got up with a groan. "I really hope she hasn't made a carrot cake. I still haven't gotten the taste of the last one out of my mouth," he mumbled.

He went down the stairs and sat down by the dinner table together with Arthur, Molly and Ginny. Fred and George were setting up their shop, Percy was working at the ministry, Charlie was in Romania and Bill in France with Fleur, therefore the house was relatively empty.

Ron poked hesitantly on the carrot cake with his spoon. "Taste it!" Ginny prompted. Ron was the only one who had been given a piece, as he had been granted the dreaded _first taste_.

Slowly he brought the spoon to his face and took the small piece in his mouth. "Ginny, this is.." Ron started.

"Yes?" said Ginny with a hopeful voice.

"It's hard as a rock! How am I supposed to eat this?" he said and pointed at the cake with a disgusted face. "Aow!"

When Ron stepped into the bedroom again he didn't look happy. "What's that on your cheek?" Hermione asked when she saw the red bruise.

"Ginny found a way to use the cake," he growled and rubbed his cheek. Harry and Hermione couldn't help but laugh when they saw his sullen expression.

"Why don't we go outside for a bit?" Hermione suggested with a smile.

Ron and Harry nodded in agreement, and followed her outside. Arthur was in one of the sheds, cleaning up a mess that looked like something only the twins could've caused, and they decided to help him.

"We need to make some room for the wedding," he explained, sounding jolly. "You should have seen the list that Fleur showed me! We'll probably have to build a new shed just so that we can put all the stuff somewhere."

"I still don't understand how Bill managed to land a girl like her," Ron muttered.

"Yes, it's sooo hard to believe," said Hermione loudly.

When the others turned with quizzical faces, she blushed. She had always thought that Bill and Charlie were handsome, Fred and George too for that matter._ Ron's not too shabby either_, she thought. As soon as the thought has taken shape in her head, she regretted it. Nathaniel had only been gone for a few days, and she was already thinking about other guys. The only one she should be thinking about was Nathaniel.

Suddenly Molly came sprinting towards them. "Hermione, something has happened!"

Hermione looked up in surprise. "What is it?"

Molly tossed an anxious glance towards the Burrow. "A man from the ministry arrived. Something has happened to your parents."

Hermione felt her heart drop. Together with the others she hurried into the kitchen. A well groomed man, that she recognized from _The Daily Prophet_, was standing by the table. He smiled softly towards her.

"You must be Hermione Granger?"

"Yes." Fear was raving like a storm inside her. "What has happened? Are my parents all right?"

"We were told about the attack beforehand, and managed to get them out of there just in time.. Although most of the aurors that we sent were hurt or killed during the mission."

Hermione gasped. "Where are they now?"

"Safe within the ministry headquarters, guarded by our aurors."

She exhaled, finally able to breath properly. For a while she had feared the worst. Molly hugged her. "There, there," she said with a soothing voice.

"We are quite certain that it was you who he was really after."

"He?" Harry asked quietly. He already knew who it was, but he asked anyway.

"Nathaniel Knightblade, one of the most dangerous death eaters out there. I'm sure you've heard of him." She couldn't hold it back any more. Hermione broke out into loud sobs. "You're not safe here. I've come to bring you to the ministry headquarters." Hermione shook her head, unable to speak. A deep frown appeared in the man's face. "You must understand how dangerous he is. We sent more than two dozen of our best aurors, led by Dumbledore, and only one came back unscathed. You don't stand a chance if he tries to attack you here."

Now it was Harry's turn to react. "Is Dumbledore okay?"

The man nodded. "He escaped with only minor injuries. Other's weren't so lucky."

"Did you catch him?" Hermione managed to say through her tears.

"No. He is impossible to catch. The one who managed to escape brought your parents with them, but could do little else." He looked pleadingly at Hermione. "Please, come to the ministry."

She glanced at Harry and Ron. "Can my friends come with me?"

The man nodded. "Dumbledore wants to see all three of you there."

"Let me pack my bag first," Hermione mumbled before running up the stairs to the room that she shared with Ginny.

…

He was floating around in what seemed to be a big, black cloud of cotton.

_I've been here before._

He no longer felt any connection to his body. He had spent years and years in the infinite void, before Dumbledore had dragged him into the light again. Voldemort had simply pushed his consciousness aside to a place where he could no longer interrupt. How much time had passed? Nathaniel didn't know. The last time, he had lost two years of his life in the cloud.

_No, not my life_, he corrected himself.

His life belonged to Voldemort. He had been created to serve Voldemort. The fact that he happened to have a soul was just an unexpected and unwanted flaw. A flaw in the vessel that was supposed to be flawless.

Anxiety clouded his thoughts. What was his body doing? Voldemort had told him that he would kill Hermione and Ron. Nathaniel hoped with his whole heart that he had been lying. He would find out when he woke up. _If_ he woke up.

_(Hmm.. Didn't remember writing anything about Bill's wedding. Crap, I messed up in the second part.. Oh well, guess I'll just have to correct it in this version, as I have tried to do with all the other 586768714345 faults. Anyway, you now know the truth about Nathaniel, or at least parts of it. Looking forward to hear what you think about it. Thanks for reading - Alvarin)_


	9. A Horrible Truth

**Chapter 9 – A Horrible Truth**

The portkey had brought them to the ministry in only a few seconds. The room that they had ended up in was small, barely bigger than a broom cupboard, and when they finally managed to get the door open they discovered that they were in a big office. In an overstuffed couch sat Hermione's parents. They looked pretty upset.

"Mum! Dad!" Hermione cried before throwing herself in their open arms. While they were hugging Harry noticed the two other familiar faces in the room.

"I'm glad you could get here so fast," said Dumbledore. His robe had blood splatters on it, but otherwise he looked unscathed. "There is something I need to talk to you about."

Hermione looked up. "Is it about Nathaniel?"

Dumbledore nodded. "When you told me about his eyes I remembered something that I read a long time ago. I didn't want to tell you anything without checking if my memory was really correct."

The minister for magic - Rufus Scrimgeour – picked up a thick, battered, old book from a drawer of his desk and carried it to the coffee-table by the couch. Hermione and her parents watched the book with fascinated gazes. It's cover heaved up and down as if it was breathing.

"This book is the only one of it's kind, so please be careful," Scrimgeour grumbled.

Dumbledore carefully opened the book, and showed them two pages, roughly in the middle. "Read this, and then tell me what you think," he said to Hermione.

Harry watched Hermione as she read. The further down the page she came, the paler she got. Eventually she closed her eyes and pushed the book away. "That's enough," she mumbled. "I get it." Her eyes filled with tears.

"What did it say?" Ron asked hesitantly, afraid that he might make Hermione even more upset. She shook her head, unable to say it out loud. Her mother stroked her on the back.

"Voldemort must've gotten hold of the book somehow. Or at least acquired the information that is in it," said Scrimgeour without any empathy. "As far as we know, he has only created _one_, but that might change very quickly."

Harry glared at Scrimgeour, the irritation clear in his face. "He has created a _what_?"

Dumbledore's expression was serious when he spoke. "Voldemort has created a homunculus."

Ron opened his mouth to ask what he meant, but Hermione cut him of. "Voldemort _created_ Nathaniel," she said quietly.

Disbelief was reflected in both Harry and Ron's faces. None of them could understand how something so absurd could be true. "How is that even possible?" Harry asked.

"It's ancient magic. Very difficult and extremely dangerous. At least one person has to give up a part of himself. In this case it was Voldemort and Lucius who offered their own blood."

"Why Lucius?" asked Hermione, who seemed to have recuperated a bit.

"Vanity. Lucius had an ancestor who was a veela. Voldemort tried to cleans his blood, to acquire pure veela blood. That was his first mistake. Only pureblood _humans _can create the type of homunculus that Voldemort wanted."

"He claimed to be related to Harry?" said Hermione. Her tone turned the statement into a question. Harry looked as confused as she did.

"The second mistake. You have to give up a part of yourself willingly. Since Harry's blood flows in Voldemort's veins, Harry unwillingly gave a part too."

Harry looked as if he wanted to throw up by the thought of his blood inside Voldemort. "But he managed to create Nathaniel anyway," Harry muttered.

"What he wanted was a soulless slave. A body that he could take over and use as his own, but what he got was something with it's own will. To take over Nathaniel's body he needs to destroy the soul that is already in it."

"That's not possible, right?" Ron was holding a hand over his heart, as if he was trying to protect his own soul.

"Unfortunately, yes," said Dumbledore dismally. "What happens with a person who is subjected to extreme pain during a long period of time?" he asked with his eyes fixed on Harry, as if he expected him to know the answer.

Hermione answered before Harry had time to even open his mouth. "He loses his mind." Harry immediately thought of Neville's parents. They had been tortured until they went mad.

Dumbledore nodded. "Over the years, Voldemort has learned that Nathaniel would persist, no matter how much or what kind of pain he caused him." Hermione winced. The thought about all the pain and torture that Nathaniel must have went through was daunting. "That's why Voldemort let him go. I was playing right into his hands when I took Nathaniel to Hogwarts."

Harry's eyes widened. "That's why he attacked Hermione's parents! He wants Nathaniel to kill her, so that he won't want to.." his voice trailed of, suddenly horribly aware of what he was really saying.

".. live any more. Exactly." Dumbledore sighed and turned towards Scrimgeour. "If you think that he was powerful before, that is nothing compared to how strong he will become if Voldemort takes over that body. Right now Nathaniel is trying to suppress the immense power that he holds, but if it is released Voldemort has won. We won't be able to do anything to stop him."

Scrimgeour looked at Dumbledore for a long time without saying anything. He seemed to be considering his next move. "How are we going to stop him?" he finally asked.

"Kill you-know-who," Hermione mumbled. "Then he should lose his grip around Nathaniel, and Nathaniel will be free to do as he wants, right?"

"It's not quite that simple." Dumbledore almost looked sad. "If we kill Voldemort we will end the spell that keeps Nathaniel alive. If we had acted quicker, Lucius Malfoy would've been able to maintain the spell, but unfortunately that isn't possible any more."

Ron looked up with a surprised expression and asked, not completely without malice: "Has something happened to him?"

…

Someone shook him. Nathaniel forced his eyes open, and discovered that he was staring into another couple of grey eyes.

"Wake up!" The eyes were desperate.

"Yes?" he asked wearily. It was painful to be awoken from his soft cloud of cotton and return to a reluctant body.

"You need to come with me, we need to escape!"

Nathaniel looked lazily around. He was back at the church. To his great surprise he realised that it was Draco who stood bent over him.

"Draco," he said softly. Draco leaned closer so that he would catch Nathaniel's words. "You're a greater idiot than your father."

Draco's otherwise handsome face was destroyed by a frown. "This isn't the time to insult me. I'm trying to save you!"

"No, you're trying to take me to your father so that I may return his abilities." Nathaniel showed him a smile filled with malice, happy that he could finally take his frustration out on someone. "First of all, I can't give his magic back, and second of all, Voldemort knows you're here. Go away before he makes me kill you."

Draco became even paler than he usually was. "But.."

The air was pushed out of him when Nathaniel hit him in the stomach with his fist. "Go home, you poor wretch."

He immediately backed away, with one hand clutching his stomach. When he could breathe normally again he hissed: "You have now idea what you just did!" before leaving.

_Wrong!_

Nathaniel knew exactly what he was doing. With a loud groan he sat up. His jeans and t-shirt were covered with blood splashes. His lips formed a content smile. Hermione had not been home, and her parents had made it. By now she, Harry and Ron ought to be safe somewhere where Voldemort couldn't get to them.

_How does it feel to lose?_

Nathaniel felt Voldemort's consciousness move around among his thoughts. Voldemort wasn't happy, but there was some other type of feeling there. Malice?

_I haven't lost quite yet. I have an offer to make you. Do as I say and.._

Nathaniel laughed loudly when he saw the pictures that Voldemort showed him. Happy pictures of him walking around in Hogwarts like any other student, pictures of him marrying Hermione, pictures of him playing with a child that had Hermione's eyes. It was obvious that Nathaniel had managed to keep some information away from him.

_Don't be ridiculous. How stupid do you think I am?_

A horrible scream filled his mind. Nathaniel instinctively cuffed his ears, despite knowing that it wouldn't help. It felt as if someone was pumping air into his scull, enough to make it explode. Voldemort had done that before, many times.

_As you wish, but if you think for a moment that your friends are safe, you're horribly mistaken._

The red eyes crept back to their usual corner. Nathaniel sighed. Several years ago he had sworn to never give up, never. It hadn't really had a reason back then, more than ruining Voldemort's plans, but now everything was different. He had tasted life, an normal carefree life, and he wanted more. Voldemort had misunderstood his relationship with Hermione, which wasn't weird since he lacked the ability to love. Sure, Nathaniel loved Hermione, but it was the same type of love that he felt for Harry and Ron.. And he was certainly not planning to marry Ron. It was friendship. A friendship worth dying for.

He knew he would never be able to live a completely normal life. Best case scenario was killing Voldemort and killing himself in the process, not that it mattered. If his friends were given a chance of surviving it didn't matter if he died.

…

"We need to do something!" Hermione exclaimed suddenly. "There has to be another way."

Harry looked up from the armchair that he was sitting in. They had been left alone in Scrimgeour's office. "There is nothing we can do. Just like the prophesy stated, I have to kill Voldemort or he'll kill me. Nathaniel will die if I kill Voldemort, but I have no choice."

"But we might be able to do something about that. I'll need to read the rest of the book, maybe it says something useful." She chided herself for not reading the whole text when she had the book in front of her, but the truth she had discovered was so terrible that she could not bring herself to continue. "If I were to learn the spell and cast it on Nathaniel he might survive even if Voldemort dies."

"Hermione," said Ron in a calm voice. He was leaning towards a wall, staring out into the air with empty eyes. "Even if you learn the spell, how are you going to cast it on Nathaniel? You know how strong he is. Warding of your spells is a piece of cake to him."

Her eyes filled with tears again. With desperation in her voice she cried: "Why have you given up? Why am I the only one who thinks Nathaniel is worth saving? I thought he was your friend too."

Harry sighed despondently. "Where's the book?"

Hermione smiled. She would save Nathaniel, no matter what it took. "Scrimgeour brought it with him. It's probably in the ministry's library for rare and dangerous books."

Ron laughed. "There's no way in hell that they'll let us in there."

After rummaging through her bag for a while, she drew out a shimmering, see-through piece of fabric. "Luckily I brought Harry's invincibility cloak!"

_(Uhum.. A couple of week after writing this I discovered a pretty big mistake, one that I don't want to change since I like it and am planing to use it later in part three. Voldemort didn't mix his blood with Harry's until Harry's fourth year, which - considering that this story takes place during their sixth year - would mean that Nathaniel is only two years old. I'm simply going to pretend I didn't notice. Thanks for reading and please review!)_

_(Btw, I took the idea about Malfoy being related to a veela from the Draco trilogy, by Cassandra Claire. The idea about homunculus and the ouroboros symbol is from Fullmetal Alchemist.)_


	10. The Reunion

**Chapter 10 – The Reunion**

They were back at the office after looking for the book for almost two hours. The library they had been in was huge and it took them quite a while before they had figured out how the books were sorted. It took them another half an hour to get all the protective spells away from the shelf, and then they had to learn how to carry the book so that it didn't scream or burn their hands. The librarian had been close to discovering them several times, but every time she had come to check what was going on, she found just as little. Despite of everything they had made it out of the library without anyone discovering them.

Hermione pulled the book out of her bag, which seemed to be able to hold infinite amounts of stuff. She carefully opened it. Oddly enough it seemed to be able to feel what pages she wanted to read and automatically browsed for the chapter about making a homunculus. She quickly found the paragraph she had left and kept reading from there.

After a couple of minutes, Ron asked: "Well? What does it say?"

"Shush," Hermione hissed.

Ron glanced at Harry, with a very annoyed face, who just shrugged. She hated to be interrupted when she was reading, she had always been like that.

Suddenly her face lit up. "I've found it!"

"The spell?" Ron asked.

"Are you sure it will work?" Harry sounded sceptical.

"We've got to at least try," she mumbled. "And I have the perfect plan."

"Of course you do," said Ron with a smile.

"But we need some help from the ministry."

Ron groaned. "Good luck with that. They still see us as toddlers."

"But Dumbledore doesn't," said Harry decisively.

"So we're just supposed to wait until they come back?" Ron looked surprised. Their plans were usually more intricate than that.

…

_Wake up, my son._

Nathaniel groaned. He was completely exhausted. His whole body hurt.

_How many times do I have to tell you that you are not my father?_

He sat up and looked around. He was in a small bedroom with red, ornate wallpapers and a dark wooden floor. The bed he was laying in was soft and the cheats smelled nicely. It was pure luxury compared to the church's benches. A chill crept up along his spine. Voldemort was preparing the body for the day he was going to take over.

_We're going to visit the ministry today._

The body got up from the bed and went over to a big mirror that was attached to the door of a closet. Nathaniel shuddered at the sight of himself. The eyes looked mean and his mouth was twisted into a horrible sneer. His arms reached towards the door handle and pulled the closet open. Inside hang black robes with silver details. If he had been himself he would have thought that they were beautiful, but since he realised that it was the last robes that he would ever wear the sight of them just made him nauseous.

_It's a suicide mission_, he thought irritably. There was a limit of what he could do. Taking down a whole army single handedly was one of them.

_Not by ourselves, my son. The death eaters will serve their purpose. Today we'll take the world, tomorrow I will claim this body for my own. Just think about it. Peoples' hearts will flutter at he sight of their marvellous new minister for magic. Everyone will bow at the sight of me, or bend to my power._

Nathaniel chose to ignore the rest of his overconfident platter. If his friends were at the ministry he hoped that they would be able to escape, or even better, stop him.

_You'll never have this body!_

His body laughed. _Think what you want, as long as it makes you happy._

…

Dumbledore stared at Scrimgeour, and he stared back. The power struggle between the two had gone one for at least fifteen minutes, and none of the others dared to say anything. Hermione had told them about her plan, a plan so ingenious and particular that it impressed everyone. Dumbledore wanted to go through with it, but Scrimgeour thought the risks were too great, he didn't want the ministry to by held responsible if it failed.

"If anything happens I'll take full responsibility," Dumbledore had told him, but that wasn't enough to convince Scrimgeour.

"Oh, for gods sake! You're acting like two little kids. I thought you were in a hurry?" Everyone turned and stared at Hermione's mum. She didn't look especially happy.

"You are quite correct, mrs Granger," Dumbledore agreed. "Scrimgeour," said Dumbledore, sounding weary. "You have to listen to reason. It's now or never. If we do not act now, we will lose this war!"

Scrimgeour sighed despondently. "If anything goes wrong I'll claim that you acted without my approval," he growled before leaving the room.

Dumbledore smiled. "Time to gather our troops. You know what to do." He winked at them before he left. They didn't quite understand why he was so happy. The battle was far from won.

Harry glanced worriedly at Hermione. "Are you really sure of this?" There was an important part of the plan that he didn't like. He didn't like it at all.

She nodded decisively. "Everything will be fine. We'll be gone before he has time to do anything about it."

Mr and mrs Granger looked even more worried than Harry. "But what if.." mr Granger started.

"No, I've made up my mind," she said flatly.

As soon as she had ended the sentence they heard a scream from the floor below them. It was time.

…

Nathaniel saw the world through a haze. Half inside the cotton cloud, half outside. Voldemort wanted him to see and feel everything that happened, without bothering him. In spite of the haze he recognized the ministry's headquarters. Around him he heard loud screams and explosions. The death eaters that Voldemort had brought were taking over the building, and they were doing it without even breaking a sweat. Thanks to the protection spells he had cast on them they were as good as invulnerable, the people who tried to protect the ministry dropped like flies. His body turned its head towards a corridor that was supposed to lead towards the minister for magic's office.

_That's where we're going, my son. We can't let them wait._

He left the death eaters and walked towards the door, barely visible at the end of the corridor. Voldemort hadn't decided on how he would deal with Scrimgeour yet. One option was torturing him to death in front of an audience, another was simply killing him and then hanging him above the street outside. A combination of the two seemed most likely. He was at the door now. Without stopping he blew it open and stepped inside.

It was hard to tell who became most surprised, Voldemort or Nathaniel. Inside the room there was at least twenty aurors. Dumbledore was there too, and behind him stood, much to Nathaniel's dismay, Hermione, Ron and Harry. It didn't take the aurors more than a few seconds to react and open fire, but it was useless. Before they had time to even blink a wave of energy had knocked them to the floor, most of them were already unconscious before they hit it.

"Nathaniel!" Hermione cried. Dumbledore had protected them.

He felt his hands rise, palms directed towards them.

_No, no! Please, leave them alone! _He screamed desperately, but of course Voldemort was the only one who could hear it.

_Look closely, my son. Look very closely._

"Nathaniel please fight him. All I need is three seconds!"

There was no need for her to say it. He threw his mind forward again and again, trying to regain control of his body. At first it didn't seem to have any effect, but then he felt something budge. He fell down to the floor, strong enough to push Voldemort away but not strong enough to take control himself.

"Now, Hermione!" He recognized Harry's voice.

"_Vivet_!"

From her wand came a sharp, white beam that seemed to go through his body and into his mind. He could feel her presence, just like he had felt Lucius and how he now felt Voldemort. Why had she used that spell? Why hadn't she just killed him?

Voldemort gave out a roar of anger, so loud that it hurt. He was pushed back to the corner of his mind. Voldemort was once again in control of his body.

"Quickly, take the port key!" one of the aurors on the floor shouted, but it was too late.

"_Avada Kedavra!" _Nathaniel heard himself hiss.

Dumbledore, Harry and Ron fell to the ground. Hermione stared at him with eyes wide with fear. "Nathaniel.." But it was all in vane. It had all been in vane. Why hadn't she killed him when she had the chance?

It was as if the air was pressed out of him when he saw his friends dead. He couldn't fight any more. Five steps was all it took for him to reach Hermione, the only one still alive and conscious. She looked so scared.

He reached out his hand and touched her cheek. "Thank you, my son. Potter and Dumbledore are dead, and soon Scrimgeour will be too. No one will dare to defy me again."

Nathaniel didn't answer. He tried to close his eyes, but Voldemort wouldn't let him. He wanted him to see what was about to happen.

"No witty comeback?" he laughed. "Don't worry. Soon I'll let you disappear for ever. But first I need you to kill this smart little girl that you hold so dearly."

Hermione winced when he suddenly grabbed her throat. She pulled her wand out, but the tightening grip around her neck made her drop it.

"Are we simply going to choke her to death? Or do you want me to torture her first?"

The sick thoughts that came from Voldemort made Nathaniel to sink even further into the darkness. He could barely feel the marks that Hermione's fingernails left on his arm. With a sudden movement Voldemort slammed down her head on the desk. Her body became limp.

"Make up your mind. Do you want me to torture her or do you want to end it quickly, and spare the poor girl some pain?" His grip around her throat loosened and she fell down on the floor. She gasped for air.

_Make up your mind._

"Crucio!" Hermione woke with a cry of paint. Her body twitched convulsively as she screamed. Nathaniel pushed one last time to emerge from the darkness.

_Stop! Don't hurt her._

Voldemort let Nathaniel end the cruciatus curse.

_Then kill her._

Tears ran down his face as he bent down and gently brushed the hair from her face. "Nathaniel," she said with a frail, pleading voice.

"Sssh.." Nathaniel tried to smile. "It'll soon be over. You won't feel any more pain."

She looked at him like she didn't understand. "The port key." Her gaze focused on the snowglobe that the now dead auror held in his hand.

He placed his hand over her heart. "Forgive me."

At the same moment that he saw the life go out of Hermione's eyes he could feel her presence in his mind disappear. She was gone.

Suddenly he began to laugh, although it wasn't he any more. "Well done, my son! Soon you will be put out of your misery too. Soon you will disappear."

Nathaniel had stopped listening. The pain raging through his soul was worse than any type of torture that he had ever been submitted to. The end could not come quickly enough.

_(Browsed for 'Nathaniel' on deviantart and found this __.com/gallery/?offset=24#/d2vift8__ it's scary how two people can think so alike. It's a lot like I pictured Nathaniel. Only one chapter left in this part, by the way. Thanks for reading and please review! - Alvarin__)_


	11. Heaven

**Chapter 11 – Heaven**

The silence was broken only by the muffled noises of the death eaters' breaths. In a great hall, built to look like an ancient amphitheatre, they had gathered on the bleachers. On a cold marble table lay Nathaniel on his back. His arms and legs were chained to the table. Next to him, facing the audience, stood Voldemort. With trembling hands, he raised the knife he was holding, and quickly cut his wrist.

"Open your mouth," he ordered as he turned towards Nathaniel, who did as he was told without hesitating. Voldemort didn't need to force him, since the pain in his chest was so strong that he would do anything to make it stop.

Voldemort pressed his wrist over his lips. "Drink."

Nathaniel slowly swallowed the warm blood that pulsated into his mouth, without thinking about the taste. After half a minute Voldemort pulled his arm away and held it towards Peter Pettigrew, who quickly healed it.

"The potion," Voldemort demanded.

Pettigrew ran across the stage to pick up a bottle filled with a dark green liquid. When he pulled the cork a smell - so sharp that even the people at the top of the bleachers could feel it - spread. It smelled similar to ammonia, but with a hint of sweetness. Pettigrew handed the bottle to Voldemort, who immediately brought it to his lips and drank half. He winced. Then it was Nathaniels turn to drink, which he did.

"Any final wishes?" Voldemort asked with a fake smile.

_Hurry._

Voldemort laughed like a maniac. Some of the death eaters joined in even though they didn't know what he was laughing at. "This has to be done properly, my son.. But I'll try to hurry."

Pettigrew fetched another bottle containing an ominous looking potion. This one was black as charcoal.

_Nathaniel.._ He winced. It was Hermione's dying voice.

"Stop," he mumbled quietly. He didn't want to hear it.

_Why did you kill me?_

Someone screamed. Several hands pushed him down, and something thick with lumps was poured into his mouth. His body started to burn, and he wanted to cuff his ears, to keep the horrible scream away, but the hands stopped him. Finally the darkness that he had longed for came and everything else disappeared.

…

"Hermione, are you sure you're all right?" Ron whispered. He sounded worried.

She nodded. "You know that a person can't cast Avada Kedavra without being certain that he wants to."

The look he gave her was anything but convinced. "I still think it was a bad plan."

"It worked, didn't it?" she said with a raised eyebrow.

"Shut up," one of the aurors muttered. "We're almost there."

"Why didn't we just use broomsticks?" Ron didn't sound happy. They had been forced to walk more than a mile.

"It's the only way to get past their protection spells safely," said Dumbledore in a calm voice. "If we had used brooms we probably would've missed most of them."

Ron sighed. "I can't understand how muggles.."

"Shut up, Weasley!" the auror exclaimed, just to be hushed by the other aurors.

"There it is," said Harry quietly and pointed at what looked like a small tent. "I though Volde.."

Hermione quickly put her hand over Harry's mouth. "Don't say it, or he'll know that we're here."

"If you three don't shut up soon.." The auror and Ron glared angrily at each other.

"_Confundo_," said Dumbledore calmly while pointing his wand at one of the death eaters outside the opening of the tent. "Get ready, we're here"

They pulled their wands out and carefully sneaked after Dumbledore towards the tent. The protection spells were removed one by one, and the death eaters that they encountered were dealt with as quietly as possible.

Hermione felt like she was being pulled towards the tent. It was as if a flame rested in her heart, and the closer she got the more alive the flame became. It filled her with a strength that she knew was Nathaniel's life force, and it was leading her towards him.

Suddenly they heard a horrifying scream. Harry caught hold of her arm and prevented her from dashing into the tent. Pain. It felt as if her whole body was burning.

"I have to.." Harry quickly pulled her out of the way.

"Hermione, stop, you're going to blow our cover." Ron helped pulling her away.

The aurors followed Dumbledore inside the tent and for several minutes there was pure chaos. Harry left Hermione with Ron and ran in to the tent to help. After a while the deafening sounds and blinding flashes from the spells subsided, and were reduced down to the lone cry that they had heard from the beginning.

Hermione fought to free herself from Ron's firm grip, but he held her like a bear might hold its pray. She scratched his arms and kicked at his feet and legs, but still he refused to let go.

"Let me go! Let me go, Ron!"

"No," he said flatly. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

Hermione's panicked brain searched franticly for logical arguments. It didn't come up with anything better than: "If you don't let me go I'll hate you for ever!"

Ron winced, but did not let go of her. "It doesn't matter. I'd never forgive myself if I let anything happen to _you. You_ who I love more than anyone else!" The scream coming from the tent suddenly went quiet and she felt the pain disappear. She didn't know how much time had passed, but it was still dark outside.

"Ron.." she mumbled.

He didn't move. "Yes?"

"You can let me go now."

"Don't go into the ten, we don't know who won yet," he warned her.

She nodded and he slowly let her go, but maintained the grip around her arm. _Ron loves me_. What had he meant by that? In what way did he love her?

"Why isn't anyone coming out?" he asked confusedly.

Hermione felt Nathaniel's presence, so she knew that he was still alive, but she had no idea about Harry. "They'll be here soon, I'm sure. I hope Harry is all right," she said, sounding worried. She didn't doubt for a second that Nathaniel would be injured, or worse.

"I can't believe he just left us here to deal with it himself.. Although that's who he is, I guess."

Eventually a blond head popped out from the canvas. "Are you coming or what?" the grumpy auror said.

Hermione hurried in after him. The room she entered looked like a huge amphitheatre. At the bottom of it, on the stage, she saw Nathaniel laying on a marble table. He didn't move.

"Hermione! Ron!" She spotted Harry next to Nathaniel. Dumbledore and a couple of medics were standing there too.

She went down to Harry, careful not to tread on any of the death eaters that were laying sprawled all over the place.

"Are you all right?" she asked when she reached Harry.

Harry smiled. "Great. Most of the death eaters ran when they realised that something was wrong with Voldemort."

Hermione looked at Voldemort's limp body. "Is he dead?" she asked hesitantly.

"No, just unable to return to his body." It was Dumbledore who had spoken. "If he returns he'll be tried in court, but until then he'll be locked up in Azkaban."

"Well, that went fast," Ron mumbled. ".. And ridiculously simple. Are you sure this isn't a trap?"

"Don't say that, Ron. Be grateful that one thing in our lives went according to plan. It's probably the first time." Harry smiled. It was as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, and he looked happier than he had in a long time.

"How's Nathaniel?" Hermione asked worriedly.

Harry shrugged. "Fine, according to Dumbledore. Their trying to wake him up right now."

Hermione patted Harry on the shoulder and went over to the marble table. Despite the fact that she wanted to disagree with Ron, she couldn't. The things he said had made sense. It had been way to simple.. Or maybe she just wasn't used to things going according to plan. Nathaniel groaned as if he was in pain.

"Is he okay?" Hermione asked worriedly while looking at the medic who seemed to be in charge.

Hermione's heart sank when he shook his head. "He has been given a lot of potions whose effects we don't understand, and a couple that we haven't even heard of before. It's not simple to administer antidote to something when you don't know what _something _is."

She ignored the medics and pushed through them to reach Nathaniel. She could see his eyes moving franticly under his eyelids. Beads of sweat glistened on his forehead.

"You look like you're in pain," she mumbled and took his hand. "_Alohomora_." She pointed her wand at his chains and watched contently as they opened with a click. "Come back now, Nathaniel," she whispered softly.

…

It was dark, but the pain did not disappear. Voldemort and the rest of the world was gone, but the memories were still there.

_Where am I?_

He couldn't talk. Even though his thoughts were a great mess he managed to recall that his body wasn't with him.

_That's right, my body belongs to someone else now._

Nathaniel didn't understand why he still existed, if you could call it that. If he was still able to think, it had to mean that he was going somewhere. Although it didn't feel like he was moving.

_Nathaniel? Can you hear me?_

It was Hermione's voice again, but this time it didn't sound accusing, just confused. He answered despite being convinced that he had been imagining.

_H-Hermione?_

A wave of relief washed over him. Though it wasn't his own feelings.

_Nathaniel! You have to wake up._

_Wake up? Hermione, I'm dead.. And so are you. _

Suddenly the world started shaking and white light blinded him.

"Nathaniel, wake up!"

He stared into Hermione's face. She had grabbed onto his shoulders and was shaking him violently.

"Heaven.." he murmured. But why was _he_ there?

"What did he say?" This time it was Ron's voice.

Nathaniel sat up suddenly and looked around. He was in a white room with two big windows that supplied the room with plenty of sunlight. Next to his bed stood Harry and Ron. Hermione was sitting at the edge of his bed. He stared at Hermione with wide eyes, without saying anything.

"Nathaniel, how are you feeling?" she said with a soft smile.

Without answering he reached out and touched her shoulder. The fact that his hand didn't go right through her, and that she was warm, only added to his confusion.

Ron reached out and grabbed Hermione's hand. "Dumbledore said that he probably wouldn't be _himself_ when he woke up. I don't think it's any good to talk to him."

Nathaniel suddenly felt annoyed. "I'm not delusional," he snapped. "If you were me, you'd be chocked too if you ended up in heaven."

Ron blinked. "Heaven? We're at St. Mungos." He smiled amusedly.

He got even more annoyed. "I killed you, and then I died, therefore this has to be heaven or hell. Since you're all here this must be heaven, and I obviously ended up in the wrong place."

"Nathaniel, we're not dead." Hermione smiled.

"I killed you," he said flatly. Maybe this was hell after all.

"No one can use Avada Kedavra without really wanting to."

"I saw you die."

"No, I just faked it. Harry and Ron wasn't even in the room.."

Nathaniel cut her of. "You're dead."

Ron gave out a loud groan. "We're alive! Is it really that hard to understand? Hermione, come. There's no point in doing this."

Nathaniel watched Hermione stand up and starting to walk away. Her eyes were blank, and she looked as if she might start to cry at any moment.

"You really think I'd be standing here and welcoming you if you murdered Hermione and Ron?" Harry grumbled and looked down at his feet. His hands were clutched at his sides.

"How could you possibly have survived?"

Hermione turned around quickly, with newly found hope in her eyes. "I found the spell that keeps you alive and cast it on you. I was the only one in the room, the others were actually in another room."

"Hermione, I could _feel_ you die!"

Suddenly he felt her presence in his head. "You mean like this?" She disappeared again.

Nathaniel thought his heart would stop. Once again he saw how the life had disappeared from of her eyes. To his big surprise she was still standing in front of him when he opened his eyes. He hadn't even realised that he had closed them.

"It's not.."

"It _is _possible. You didn't kill any of us."

Nathaniel found that he had now answer to this. He had no idea how to react. Once again he went through his memories, despite the pain they caused him, and ransacked them for any little clue that might help him understand. "The port key," he eventually mumbled.

"The snowglobe? That was just to convince Voldemort." It was Harry who had spoken

"Where is Voldemort? I can't feel his presence any more."

"His body is being kept in Azkaban. His mind.." Harry said hesitantly. "Is somewhere else."

"Not in me?"

Hermione smiled. "No, he can't hurt you any more."

For several minutes Nathaniel just sat there, staring at his own hands. It couldn't be true. He had never been free before, and now he suddenly had the freedom to do what he wanted? He would never ever have to hurt someone again?

"Does that mean I'm.." his voice cracked. He was crying. Without saying anything, Hermione sat down at the edge of his bed again and put her arms around him.

"Um.." Ron fidgeted. "I thought I heard mum call my name," he mumbled before hurrying out of the room. Before the door had closed, Harry came up with an apology and followed Ron.

Hermione wasn't completely new to handling crying people, there probably isn't a girl in the world who isn't. But Nathaniel didn't cry like other people. If she hadn't actually seen the tears she wouldn't have thought that he was actually crying. He didn't let out a single sob, nor did he shake.

"How are you feeling?" she asked him again.

After a while she got her answer. "Better." His voice sounded strained, like he had to force himself to speak.

"The Blackfield students has been moved to Hogwarts," she said, mainly to get him to think about something else.

Nathaniel froze. "You've got to be kidding me. There wont be enough dormitories in Slytherin to house them all." He tried his best to sound cheery, but was obviously still shaken.

"I bet some of them will end up in Gryffindor, like you did."

"I wouldn't count on it," he mumbled and carefully pulled away from Hermione. He had stopped crying. "The student's from that school hurt people because they want to, not because they're being controlled."

Hermione nodded understandingly. "Maybe I should get a doctor who can release you from the hospital, since you seem to be feeling relatively well," she said with a smile.

Nathaniel looked down at his hands again. "I guess Dumbledore will let me stay at Hogwarts during the summer."

Hermione shook her head. "You'll be staying with me and Harry, at Ron's place."

He looked up with a surprised expression. "But.."

"It's already decided. Ron's parents don't mind. Actually there exited to see you."

"So we're all going to..?"

"Yeah, isn't it great? You'll love his family. You've already met Fred, George and Ginny, but he has three more brothers.."

While Hermione happily chattered on, Nathaniel felt for the first time that he would finally be able to really enjoy something, knowing that it was _he_ who enjoyed it, not someone else.

_(Well, that was the last chapter of part 1. It'll be followed by 3 chapters in part 1,5 and then another 15 chapters in part 2. Phew, I've got my work cut out for me. I haven't started on part 3 yet but I'll get there.. Eventually. _

_I'm really grateful for your reviews! There really is nothing better than to check your e-mail and discover that you've gotten a new one. I'd like to thank Lady Cougar-Trombone (What the heck is up with that name?) for all your nice little comments. Makes me really happy to know that someone actually reads it and cares about the plot, haha._

_Btw, I'm also writing this fiction (about Fred and George after the battle of Hogwarts) together with a friend of mine. Be sure to check it out! .net/s/7995099/1/Now_were_both_holy_mate - Alvarin)_


	12. At the Bottom of a Well

**Part 1,5 The Will to Climb**

**Chapter 12 – At the Bottom of a Well**

The world was spinning around, and Nathaniel felt as if he would collapse any second. The grip around his glass of champagne was so tight it threatened to shatter it. The pain. It was all he could think about, all that existed in his world. The dinner guests that were currently staring at him, expecting him to speak, were just smudge. He couldn't see them clearly, and they couldn't see him either. Not really. All he could do was stand there and try not to faint. He was remotely aware that his lips were moving, but he couldn't hear himself speak, had no clue what he was talking about. What was probably two minutes felt like several hours, but after that he finally stopped speaking. The annoying buzz that must have been his own voice disappeared and was replaced by a discreet applause. Finally he could sit down again. He was done.

The smudge moved, one at a time, and buzzed, just like he had. He wished that they would shut up. The pain was almost unbearable, but the worst had already passed, he knew that. It had passed during his own speech. Something on his shoulder. A hand. He turned and faced Hermione. She looked worried. She buzzed, and he shook his head without knowing why. She smiled, buzzed again and turned back towards the smudge with fire on top. Ron? Probably. It was him that they were celebrating. He had gotten a scholarship. Not that it mattered. Nothing mattered in the cloud of pain.

Nathaniel got up from his chair, buzzed something to Hermione and staggered – or at least it felt like he was staggering – away from the big tent that he had helped the Weasley's put up. He went into the Burrow, up the stairs to the room that he shared with Percy, and laid down on the bed. He pressed his left forearm against his chest. It burned. The ugly black mark burned like it was on fire. But it was getting better now, soon it would pass. Maybe ten more minutes, then he would be able to think again.

…

Ron felt annoyed. He had gotten this great scholarship, his family were throwing a party all to his honour, and still he wasn't happy. He couldn't possibly be as long as Hermione thought of no one else than Nathaniel. Fine, he couldn't outdo Nathaniel, not in any way, but at least his supposedly best friend should pay him some attention today, on _his_ day.

Nathaniel had held a perfect speech. So perfect that it was on the verge to being silly. The way his voice sounded, how he moved his hands to empathise what he said, how he looked around in the tent and made everyone believe that he were looking them in the eye. Even how the soft breeze that had swept through his hair at exactly the right time. Ron was fully convinced that Nathaniel had used his magic to accomplish that last thing.

He was so jealous that he didn't know what to do of himself. His relatives were talking about Nathaniel, how perfect he was, how lucky Hermione was to have such a boyfriend. Hermione wasn't even going out with him. Sure, they had some type of thing, but it seemed to Ron like Nathaniel had been avoiding Hermione recently. _He_ was the one who had told her that he loved her, not Nathaniel.

"Hey, Ron." It was Harry, looking slightly quizzical. "Why aren't you eating?"

Ron looked down at his full, untouched plate that looked a lot like the plate to Hermione's right, Nathaniel's. Where had he gone? He grabbed his fork and shuffled some food on it. "Haven't gotten started yet," he said with a smile. People were so easily fooled by his fake smile. On that account he was a bit like Nathaniel. Not a pure bred actor, but good enough to fool people when he wanted to. Though he didn't, usually.

"I was afraid you might be trying to go on the same diet as Nathaniel." There it was again. Nathaniel, Nathaniel, Nathaniel. He was all that people ever talked about these days.

"Diet?" asked Ron, stuffing some more potato salad in his mouth.

Harry couldn't help but smile at his friend, the glutton. "Yeah. I hadn't noticed before, but he always eats ridiculously little."

"He's probably snacking when no one's looking," muttered Ron. It was true, Nathaniel didn't eat a lot, but he still wasn't skinny. His abs and muscles in general were.. Well, more impressive than Ron's, to say the least.

Harry laughed. "I have a hard time picturing that."

"Well, golden boy has to have some flaw, right?"

Harry sighed, with that kind of give-upish look on his face that he often got when he saw Nathaniel fly. "I'm not sure he does."

"Talking about me?" Nathaniel had come back. _Great._

Harry.. Ron couldn't believe his eyes. Harry _blushed_. "We we're wondering if you really are flawless."

Nathaniel's expression changed in an instant. It went from somewhat content to dark, almost grim. "I'm far from flawless, Harry."

"Oh, yeah? Then tell me a flaw." Ron saw the warning glance that Hermione directed at Harry, but he didn't seem to notice.

Nathaniel's expression became even darker. Harry had started to realise that he had just set of something in Nathaniel's mind that wasn't good. "I have many faults, but the biggest one is having a soul," he answered quietly before leaving once again. This time Hermione followed him. Ron and Harry got up from their chairs to, ignoring Hermione's glare as they did so.

Ron was becoming increasingly angry. If he had been Nathaniel he would've forced a smile, told them that he were in fact snacking when no one was looking, and then changed the subject. But Nathaniel didn't do that. No, he made a scene out of it, playing hurt, making everyone else feel guilty.

…

Nathaniel could her their steps. Why had he done that? He should have just brushed it of, cracked a joke or something, but Ron's spiteful glare had made it impossible. He was tired and still in pain and when he noticed how Ron looked at him his mind had just shut down. He hadn't been able to come up with anything witty, and had instead blurted the first thing that he came up with. Initially he had intended to sound merry about it, turn it into a grim joke, make his eyes sparkle with false happiness.. But he had failed to do even that.

_Nathaniel, wait up._

Hermione was in his head again, and he had to shove all his thoughts away so that she wouldn't find out how much he hated having her in his head all the time, how much he hated Ron and Harry and everyone that didn't see that he was the most flawed being on earth. He shoved it all away in a dark corner that he hoped that Hermione wouldn't try to pry in, and stopped as he had been told.

She was there immediately, hand on his shoulder, _comforting_ him. He didn't need comforting, he needed a bullet through his head. No, that wasn't true. He didn't want to die, he loved being in a world where Voldemort couldn't force him into doing anything, but he was confused. People that he saw around him were always so happy, and to him it felt like looking at the sky from the bottom of a deep well. It was dark where he was, and he wanted the light so bad that he could almost taste it. But he didn't climb. Couldn't, obviously, since the well was so deep, but it was more than that. He didn't even try.

"You know Harry didn't mean anything bad," she said softly.

"Oh, he's well aware of that," Ron snapped. Nathaniel turned to face him as he came up to him, standing way too close. They were about the same hight. "Why do you always have to cause a scene? Harry was just joking, if you know what a joke is."

Ron's anger was like a dark cloud. It covered his view of the wondrous blue sky of happiness. It made the well even deeper. "I didn't mean to cause a scen, I just.."

"Yes, you did!" Ron shouted furiously. Nathaniel couldn't understand why he was so mad at him. "You like showing of, just admit it! If you can't be the great hero with inhuman strength, brains, quidditch skills and looks, then you want to be someone that everyone pities, even if it means that you'll have to make others feel guilty, even when they haven't done anything wrong!"

"Ron!" Hermione warned, but was ignored. Harry just stood there and stared, not believing that his friend actually had all that in him.

If Ron would've stopped and left Nathaniel with just those words, nothing would've happened. But he kept pushing, like he wanted Nathaniel to break. "Just because you look _oh so good_ and are _oh so powerful_, it doesn't mean that you can just put yourself above everyone else!" he continued. "Well I'm not impressed by your looks, and I'm not afraid of your powers, so don't you dare look down at me like you do with everyone else!"

Half a second of lost concentration was all it took. Ron's face became suddenly pale and wobbled unsteadily. Nathaniel regained control over his magic again, stopped it from causing any lasting damage. "Do you think I chose to look like this!" he pointed at his own face. People thought it was beautiful, but he hated it. Hated looking in the mirror and seing the body that Voldemort had created for his own purposes. Designed to thrall people with it's beauty, and to then strike them down with a single, overpowered spell. "He created my face, my voice, my skills, my power. Everything!" the last word was shouted with such a fury that it pushed Ron down to the ground. "Do you think I am proud to show people what he made me? Glad to be the perfect puppet? Do you really think I would brag about a face that wasn't intended to be mine? Proud of this!" He suddenly jerked his sleeve up and showed them the dark mark. The cursed mark that they had been so anxious to see before the summer. Nathaniel breathed heavily. He had never shouted like that at anyone before, and in a way it felt relieving. But the realisation of what he almost had done a few seconds ago, hit him like a fist in the face. His magic had almost gotten out of control, almost killed Ron, just because he had gotten mad. More than mad. For a moment, the moment that his magic had acted almost on it's own, he had wished that Ron would just die.

Harry and Hermione was staring at him, startled by the sudden outburst. None of them understood what had almost happened. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Ron held a hand on his throat, which was probably hurting.

Nathaniel ignored them. He needed to be alone, to have time to collect himself so that he wouldn't lose it again, and actually kill someone. Hermione followed him again, as she always did, but this time she stayed a bit behind him, as if she was afraid.

He kept walking until he stepped into a grove with maple trees. He stopped and took a deep breath. Hermione was in his head, wanting to know how he felt without having to ask. Once again she put her hand on his shoulder. "I didn't know you felt that way."

"Hermione, please get out of my head so that I can think."

She blinked, apparently surprised that she had been discovered. "I'm sorry," she mumbled silently. Immediately he could feel her presence diminish until it disappeared completely. "I didn't mean to pry."

"I know." He sounded tired, and he was. Unbelievably tired. It was odd that Hermione didn't feel it too. She should, since they were linked, feel tired if he did, and feel hunger if he did. Also, she was able to eat and sleep for him, but he didn't say that. Didn't want her to know what a leach he really was. "I'm horrible."

The statement seemed to surprise her. "Why?"

"Because of what I did to Harry, and then to Ron.. And now I'm about to say something terrible to you too." She winced, but said nothing. "Please don't ever get into my head again, unless I ask you to. In a way, I hate having you in my head more than I hated having Voldemort there." He might as well have hit her, because that was how she reacted. "I didn't care what he thought of me, and therefore I could think what I wanted, but it's not the same with you. I don't want you to know how atrocious my soul is, so please don't try to find out."

She looked angry and sad, but most of all guilty. "I'm sorry," she repeated. "I didn't know. But Nathaniel, your soul isn't atrocious."

"Right now, I wanted to kill Ron, and I almost did. Did you see his face lose it's colour?" She didn't nod or answer, but he could see in her eyes that she knew what he was talking about. "That was my magic, stopping the blood flow to his brain. I lost control, and I almost killed him."

"That wasn't your fault. Ron acted like an ass, it's not weird to lose control bec.."

"It didn't happen just because I lost control, it happened because I wanted him dead, because that's the kind of person I am. The kind that kills others when he gets mad."

He could still see it in her eyes. Denial. She didn't want to believe that about him, so she tried to find another explanation. Why couldn't she just realise that he could never be what she wanted him to be? That his soul would always be scarred by the things that Voldemort had done, by the things Voldemort had made him do, and all those memories. The despicable memories that created the despicable artificial human that he was.

_(I felt that I needed to add a couple of chapters between part one and two, after realizing how much must had happened during the summer. Anyway, I've always wanted to incorporate that part when Nathaniel gets furious and yells at someone about not being proud because of his looks, and I also wanted something to create a contrast against the picture of an overly confident and proud Nathaniel that I have in my head. Hope you like it. Please review! - Alvarin)_


	13. Climbing

**Chapter 13 – Climbing**

He couldn't take it any more. His feelings were on a rampage, and it was getting harder and harder to control the magic that surged through him. With a howl he let himself turn into a beast. His body exploded into black fur, claws and teeth. Immediately he could feel the difference. All his angst and guilt disappeared, and left him with only his bestial instincts. For a long time he had longed for his wolf-shape, but since there was almost always someone with him – making sure he didn't lose his mind nor did anything stupid - he hadn't changed into it.

The sound of his steps was barely audible, and he didn't stir the sleeping creatures of the forest. It was as if he belonged there. Stretching out his forelegs first, then the hindlegs. Running quicker then he would ever be able to in his human shape.

He ran for a long time. A really long time, before realising that he had to turn around if he were to make it back before anyone noticed that he had disappeared. They wouldn't like it if he was gone. They were just trying to take care of him, make sure he wasn't sad nor needed anything, but it was starting to suffocate him. Especially Hermione. He had appreciated it at first, the closeness, the warmth, but the fact that she never let him out of sight was starting to make him weary. At least she stayed out of his head now, which was a small consolation.

The Burrow appeared behind the trees. He was back again. With a sigh, or at least an attempt to sigh, he turned back into his human shape. He didn't want to go inside again, didn't want everyone staring at him, asking him how he was feeling, why he didn't eat, why he made that face, what had happened yesterday, why wasn't Ron speaking to him. _Well, Molly.. That's because I tried to kill him. _Oh, how fun wouldn't it be if he could actually tell the truth without people freaking out. He hated himself for thinking it, but in a way he longed for the company of his death eaters.

_I killed 15 muggles and an auror yesterday._

_Oh, really? That's nice. I only got a mudblood._

He didn't miss the killing, but the freakishly relaxed attitude. You could say anything in the company of a death eater and they wouldn't shun you, but shrug and make an equally gruesome comment.

"Hi there." Ron's older brother was the only one awake, and he was sitting by the fireplace, watching an egg. A dragon's egg.

"Hi, umm.. Charlie, right?"

He smiled. How could anyone possibly look that happy? "Yeah, that's me. Bill's the one with long hair."

"And the twins are two," Nathaniel mumbled. He didn't want to be nice. He wanted to go back to his room, lay down in his bed and then never get up again, but he stayed anyway. Was it because Charlie looked so happy?

He laughed, softly. "Most of the time, yes. What are you doing up and outside so early?" He had nice and understanding eyes, not at all like his younger brother.

"Trying to breath," Nathaniel said quietly and sat down close to the warm fire. He should have gone upstairs. Why hadn't he?

Charlie didn't look surprised or confused. "Don't feel like you fit in?"

He flashed a brief smile, before returning to his neutral expression. "My being here is like a double-edged sword." Charlie looked as if he expected an explanation, so Nathaniel continued. "Everyone is being so nice that it hurts, and it makes me.. Nasty."

"Oh, so that's why Ron was acting so pissy yesterday? I've never seen him that angry. What did you tell him?"

Nathaniel looked down on his feet. "Nothing nice. Horrible, actually."

"Then apologize." Charlie made it sound so simple. Why wasn't Ron like that? Instead Ron had acted like an ass, over nothing. Well, almost nothing.

"I don't want to. He was a prick."

"Often is. I used to feel a lot like you when I was younger." Nathaniel looked up, surprised, but then he realised that Charlie couldn't possibly understand how he was feeling. "Felt like my family was slowly suffocating me to death. I fought with everyone, and acted way beyond the normal rebellious teenager. One summer I didn't even come home, I just went to a friends house without telling anyone about it. Needed to get away, you know?" Nathaniel nodded, maybe he really did know how he felt. "But once I moved away from home I actually started to miss it. Quite odd, but I guess that's how it is. When you're alone you want nothing more than to have someone at your side, and when you have at ton of close friends and relatives you just need to get away."

"You mean a human can't ever be content?"

"No, that's not it at all. I'm perfectly content now, with my family at a distance, but still there if I need them. Needed a bit of help to realise it though."

"Really?"

"Yeah. One of Bill's friends told me that he wanted his family so much that he started to hate them, but all that passed when his brother died."

Nathaniel imagined himself, suddenly aware that the blue sky above the well was not unreachable, trying to climb up. Maybe he should leave the Burrow, and then reunite with the others at Hogwarts. He had liked them, even loved them, back then before everything happened. But even if that helped, it still wasn't the solution to his problems. He was still different, too different to ever fit in or feel like he was one in their group. He wasn't even a real human, just a fake. An unnatural human, an artificial soul. Knowing that he would always be nothing more than a fake was like standing in the shadow of something so huge that he would never be able to see the sun again. Like standing at the bottom of a well.

"Here I am, trying to be encouraging, but you still look like a dying duck in a thunderstorm."

Nathaniel smiled wearily. "You actually did make me feel a bit better. Thanks." He felt like doing Charlie a favour, so he put his hands close to the egg, and let his magic do the trick. He didn't need to think about a specific spell, just imagine what he wanted to happen. It only took a few second before the small dragon had cracked the shell and was on it's way out.

"Wow, that wasn't supposed to happen until next week. How did you do that?"

Nathaniel shrugged. "Don't really know. I'm going to try to get a couple of hours of sleep. Thanks."

Charlie was too occupied with keeping the dragon from burning the house down, so he didn't answer. Percy had gone back to his apartment in London so Nathaniel had the room all to himself.

…

Hermione was staring up at the ceiling, listening to the rhythmic sound of Ginny's breathing. She felt more rested than she had in a long time. Finally she had been able to sleep through a whole night without being awoken by nightmares. She had realised that it wasn't actual nightmares, but Nathaniel's memories that she had seen, and now when she had pulled out of his mind she didn't dream about it any more. She winced at the thought of all the death, destruction and pain that he must have gone through. What she had seen was only a fraction of what there was to be seen, and it made her so scared that she wanted to scream and cry. It wasn't weird that Nathaniel thought of himself as tainted and corrupted, considering what he had gone through.

When she thought of him she felt nothing but sadness. It had been joy, but all the nightmares and horrors had changed that. There was no room for joy any more. He had stopped liking her too, or at least in the way that he used to like her. Every time she had tried to find out what he thought about her, she had felt nothing more than annoyance in his mind. _You, who I love more than anyone else! _Ron had said to her. Nathaniel had never told her anything like that. Maybe the romance between the two of them was only in her head.

Ginny twisted in her bed. "Uuh.. What time is it?" She didn't sound like she was really awake.

"Seven, I think. The sun's up."

Ginny growled and pulled the cover up over her head. She was just as fond of sleeping as her brothers were.

Ron. Ron could make her laugh, cry and hate. The feeling he stirred inside of her was what made him so different from Nathaniel. Nathaniel made her feel things too, but rarely in a positive way. At least that was how it had become. After he had left St. Mungos he had been different. There was more sadness in his eyes, more hate, more loneliness. It no longer went away when he smiled. It was always there. Always. She had thought that he would be happy to be free from Voldemort, but he acted like he was even more imprisoned than he was when they had first met.

She let her feet fall down from the bed, into her slippers, and got up. She needed some air. Or maybe something to drink. On her way down to the kitchen she met Nathaniel. He was headed up. Why wasn't he in bed?

"Can't sleep?" she asked quietly. She didn't want to wake anyone.

Nathaniel looked slightly to the left of her, like he didn't want to look her in the eyes. Was he still thinking about what happened with Ron? _It happened because I wanted him dead, because that's the kind of person I am._ She doubted that. Nathaniel wouldn't want his friend to die. Not really. "I'm leaving tomorrow," he said suddenly, like he had just gotten the idea.

Hermione couldn't understand the meaning of his words. He was leaving, but _why_? "What?" was the only thing she could think of saying.

"It's just two weeks until school starts, and I'd like to.. Be alone. To sort out my thoughts. As it is right now, I can't think properly. It's better if I go away for a while." There it was, the sadness. His expression didn't show even the slighted hint of any feelings, but his eyes told her exactly what he really felt.

"Nathaniel, are you sure? Wouldn't it be better to stay in the company of yo.."

"No," he said flatly. "If I stay here any longer I'm going to say or do something that I can't ever take back. I already have."

"Ron will forgive you. The only reason he lashed out like that was because he's jealous. It'll pass."

"It tried to kill him. If I were anyone else, even Harry, you wouldn't ignore that. I need to leave. If nothing else, then for my own sanity."

"You can't stand to be with us, is that it?" Why had she said that? She hadn't wanted to say it, but still the words came out of her mouth, and with a poisonous ring to them.

Once again Nathaniel's face showed no feelings, but his eyes looked hurt. "I need some time by myself," he repeated. "I've never been only _me _before, and I need some time to figure out who _me _is."

"Then leave," she muttered under her breath before going down to the kitchen. She felt angry. Angry and hurt, when she should've been supportive. No wonder Nathaniel looked so lonely, when even she failed him in the end. She hadn't even tried to understand, just shunned him. Why was she even less tactful than Ron?

_(Yes, sweeties, Nathaniel is an animagus. I'm going to develop that in part 3, but for now you'll have to make due with that little piece of information. One more chapter, then it's time for part two. Thanks for reading. Hope you like it. Please review! - Alvarin)_


	14. Falling Down Again

**Chapter 14 – Falling Down Again**

The sun was rising. He hadn't been able to sleep, so now he was standing on the balcony of the room he had rented, looking down at the people on the street. They were going on with their daily lives as usual, without noticing the weary eyes that followed their every move.

He had been standing there for several hours. It was soothing, somehow, to watch them. Could he ever be like that? Probably not. He had thought that he could, but the pain from the dark mark was coming more often, and made him acutely aware that he was all but free from Voldemort.

A small child tripped and fell down onto his knees. Before he even had time to break into tears, his mother was there and helped him up. Nathaniel wished that someone would be there to pick him up if he fell down, but knew that it was pointless. He had to fend for himself, like he always had and always would. The prospect was depressing, to say the least.

A sudden roar from the small fireplace startled him, and he turned quickly with his wand drawn.

"Oh, dear. Should I've knocked?" Dumbledore smiled as he stepped out of the fireplace.

Nathaniel put his wand down in his pocket and stepped inside the room, closing the door behind him. "I didn't think this fireplace was connected to the floo network."

"It wasn't, but I called in a favour."

Nathaniel swallowed the sigh that he was about to let out. The head master was not the one who he wanted to see right now. Actually, he didn't want to see anyone. "What are you doing here?"

"Paying a friendly visit?" Dumbledore sat down by the small table and tasted one of the cookies that Molly had more or less forced him to take with him. He didn't like sweets, but she wouldn't take no for an answer, so now the box with cookies just lay there, unopened. "Mmm, no wonder those Weasley boys eat like they do. These are delicious."

"I find that hard to believe." Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't talking about the cookies."

"I really hope you wasn't." He was starting to feel annoyed. The head master had a way of never getting to the point, which he hated. "Why did you leave the Burrow?"

"I didn't think that I needed your permission," Nathaniel snapped.

Dumbledore took another cookie, like he didn't even notice Nathaniel's frustration. "I'm not saying you did anything wrong. It was just a question."

Nathaniel took a deep breath. He didn't know why he was so annoyed. The head master was always like that, and it hadn't bothered him that much before. "I needed some time by myself. To think and.. Figure some things out."

"Why don't you try talking to me? You might not believe it, but I have helped many teenagers over the years." How could he possibly understand anything? They had nothing in common. _Nothing_. Nathaniel just shook his head. "I thought you wanted friends and freedom. Now you have both, so why can't you enjoy it?"

He wasn't free. Not now, not ever.. And friends. Had he really wanted friends? "I guess I was wrong. Friends and freedom wasn't what I wanted. Or at least it's not enough to make me.. Happy." The last word was pronounced with a tone that showed that he hadn't used it a lot.

"So then, that's what's bothering you. I have no idea what you need to be able to live a happy life."

"Yes, and as you probably understand, it's nothing you can help me with."

"Do not be so quick to turn down someone's offer to help," he said with a voice that suddenly sounded stern.

"You can't help me. You know nothing about me, or who I am."

"Neither do you." Nathaniel wanted to make a witty comeback, but found that he couldn't. Dumbledore had hit home, and Nathaniel didn't know how to defend himself. "And that is what you need time to figure out, is it not?"

Nathaniel didn't answer. Didn't want to tell Dumbledore that he was right.

"I want to teach you a spell. So that you wont have to wear those sunglasses." Dumbledore raised his wand towards his own face and moved it in a circle that centred on his eyes. "_Obculo_." His normally clear-blue eyes turned into a duller, greyish colour. "It should make your eyes silver-grey, and remove that symbol."

"Ah."

"Yes, well.. I can't tell you who you are, that is something that will take time, but at least you know what it is that you need to ask yourself." He got up again. "These are the best cookies I've had in.."

"Just take them."

Dumbledore smiled and put he box in the pocket of his robes. "I'll see you at Hogwarts," he said before disappearing in a explosion of green flames.

The room felt oddly empty, even more so than before. The questions that Dumbledore had left behind made the whole world feel bigger and emptier. What was he? Who was he?

_What_ was easy. He was a homunculus. A human created with magic, an artificial human. He wasn't meant to have a soul, but he did anyway. Why? Easy. Because Voldemort had screwed up when he created him. Was his soul real? That was more difficult. Even though his body was fake, his soul could be real, if it came from the same place that all other souls came from. Did all souls come from the same place?

Nathaniel sighed loudly as he flopped down onto the bed. This wasn't helping at all. He knew _what_ he was. He should probably focus on _who_. How does one even put that into words? Who was Harry? That was a great start. Try it on someone else first. Harry was the brave guy who'd gladly risk his life for his friends. He was independent but not afraid to trust people. He liked helping people, liked being needed. Was that how he confirmed his own existence? Probably. There was more to it than that, but at least it was a start. Now he just had to do the same thing with himself. Who was Nathaniel? Nathaniel was the.. His head was blank. Normally he was good with words, he could turn and twist them to express anything, but not this. He couldn't put words on nothing. He couldn't describe nothing. Yes, he could. He could put words on nothing. It was empty, hollow, formless, silent. It was sad and lonely. That was what he was. _Nothing._

He slipped down from the bed, onto the floor, and pulled his knees up under his chin. The description was suiting. It was because he was nothing that he could be everything. To the death eaters he could be a cruel leader, to Hermione he could be a boyfriend, to Harry he could be a friend, to Ron he could be a rival. But he didn't want to. Didn't want to lead, love or be forced to smile or snicker. What did he want to do then? If he could just figure it out, he would be happy. Or happier at least.

It burned. He looked down at his left forearm. Once again it burned. It started as a stinging sensation, barely noticeable, but then it developed into a pain that seeped into every corner of his mind. Maybe they would come to him later, the words. They wouldn't come now. Not in the cloud of pain. At least he was thankful to be alone. That was something.

The darkness surrounded him on all sides, and he realised that he had fallen down to the bottom of the well again.

_(Yes, this is a short, very weird chapter. I wanted to try to explain Nathaniel's personality, but there's nothing to describe! Or maybe there is to much? Poor guy, he probably hates me. Don't worry, he's gonna find himself.. Eventually. Anyway, I'm sorry that this chapter took so long, but this is the last chapter of part 1,5 and now I'll start translating part 2. Yey! Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you like it. **Please** review! - Alvarin)_

_(PS. Yes, you're right. I don't like Dumbledore. He's an overgrown baby with a sugar addiction. Seriously..)_


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